May you have all the Love you desire!
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Very Troubled
My live-in girlfriend and I fight very often of late and it seems to me to be over the least little thing! I admit that I can get very irritated at times but it seems that both of our tolerance levels have hit rock bottom. I love her with all my heart but it seems that we are falling apart.
I think it is related to the fact that she just will not let go of past problems. Whenever we fight I swear that she has a satellite link up to a computer with all the things I did wrong catalogued. When we begin to argue she slaps up the past to me and says very mean things. What I would like to know is’ What can I do to make things better so that we can have a life together?’
Signed:
Your girlfriend is caught in what I call Fight Traps which are dysfunctional fighting tactics that ruin relationships. Her Fight Traps are: Bringing Up Ancient History and Character Assassination.
When your girlfriend hurls Ancient History in your face, you naturally feel attacked and defensive. In this defensive state of mind, you are unable to listen to what is bothering her. This creates yet another unresolved issue, more anger and frustration on her part, and more crap to be thrown up to you in the future. You are trapped in a major vicious cycle.
There is only one way to break your fighting cycle, and to do this we must derail your girlfriend’s Fight Traps.
- You need to tell your girlfriend: I know I’ve said and done things to upset you in the past. Unfortunately, I can’t change that. But I can start from now and try to understand what I did and how it made you feel.
- Next you must guide your girlfriend to focus on one issue–the current one: She must describe the behavior that upset her and state how that behavior of yours made her feel.
- If she sidetracks onto Ancient History, steer her back to the current issue. As for the Character Assassinations we’ll deal with that later in my answer.
- Next, listen carefully to what she says is currently bothering her.
- Repeat back what you heard and ask her if you have understood. Keep playing back what she says until she confirms that you have understood her.
- Take responsibility for upsetting her. (Remember, her feelings of upset aren’t wrong or right. They are just her feelings and they need to be understood if you want to resolve your conflicts and form a lasting relationship with her.) If you succeed in listening and understanding, she will feel much less angry with you.
Little by little, if you take care of business in the moment, soon there will be no Ancient History to throw in your face.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Join me tomorrow at 1pm (EST) and kiss your fights good-bye
Are fights ruining your relationship?
Are you on the verge of a breakup because of your fights?
My conflict resolution method is just what the doctor ordered.
In this show, I’m going to talk about the most common fight pattern. It’s called the Demand/Withdraw Negative Escalation Cycle or Husband Withdrawal for short. And, no, I’m not talking about a natural form of birth control!
Husband Withdrawal refers to the way men distance themselves in order to escape conflict.
Unfortunately, the more a more a man withdraws, the angrier his partner gets, which creates more fighting and more Husband Withdrawal. This vicious cycle is the most common fight pattern among couples and the number one cause of relationship conflict, breakups, divorce and domestic violence.
Don’t worry. I have developed the first proven method for stopping Husband Withdrawal dead in its tracks.
When guys stop withdrawing, they actually want to stick around and resolve conflicts with you, which is easily achieved using my simple step-by-step conflict resolution method.
Tune in to find out how easy it is to kiss your fights good-bye and say hello to a lifetime of lasting love!
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Without a Clue
I really need your help. There's a girl who is very close to me but we aren't actually an item. We always have sexual experiences doing everything except intercourse. But every time we do do it I feel she takes it for granted and doesn't really appreciate it, she's like my sister but we have that extra special something. I need to now how to get her more interested and not to play hard to get all the time because I know she enjoys it.
Also is it wrong to to do that with somebody like a sister and aren't actually an item, will it effect our friendship. Please advise me .
Without a clue
You asked several questions. You ask is it wrong to make love with someone that you have sisterly feelings for, and will it affect your friendship. First of all, it is normal to have all kinds of feelings for your lover. At times a lover may feel like a sister, mother, dutch uncle, father, whoever. Feelings are never wrong, so chill. As for the question, will sex change your friendship, the answer is yes. Having sex always alters the nature of a relationship. Feelings intensify and unfinished issues of childhood are more likely to emerge. Angry feelings will also be stronger. It sounds as though your girlfriend is also a bit unsure about having sex with you. You asked me how you could get her more interested in sex. ( She acts like she doesn't really appreciate sex and plays hard to get.) Is it possible that she also shares your guilty feelings about making love to someone who feels like a sibling (brother/sister)? The best thing to do is to sit down and talk this out. Tell her that you sense that she has mixed feelings about being sexual with you. Tell her that she acts like she doesn't really appreciate the sex and plays hard to get. Ask her what her behavior is trying to tell you. You could also ask point blank if she is sure that she wants to continue the sexual relationship. So, talk everything over and, you should both feel clearer on where you want to go with your relationship. Good luck.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Hopeless
I used to go out with this guy 5 years ago, I have been in love with him for about 6 years now. About 6 months ago we started talking and kind of seeing one another however he is engaged and he tells me he really likes me and wants to have sexual relations, and oral sex. He says he is afraid that his fiancee will find out if he does these things. . I am so much in love with him I would do anything for him. . . Please help me!!!!!
Hopeless
So, let's see if I get this straight. This man who is engaged to another woman wants you to give him oral sex. He wants you to do it on the sly so that he doesn't jeopardize his relationship with his fiancee. What's he offering you in return? Lockjaw!!! This man proposes to treat you like a whore. . . or worse. He's not even paying to use you.
At this point, I think you need to find out why you are so in love with someone who degrades you. I can give you a hint as to why I think you are so drawn this man. If you read over your letter, you will see that you sound desperate to have him. Your urgent tone gives me a clue that your mind is locked in a repetition compulsion (the urge to recreate a traumatic aspect of childhood, so that it can work for a happier ending). What traumatic aspect of your childhood is being recreated here? I suspect that you felt you had to chase your dad (or mom) for love and attention, and that despite your efforts, you felt used and not loved back.
By giving this man what he wants, you are sending out the message: Use me, buddy. I don't respect myself, so you don't have to either. You will never win this man by allowing yourself to be used. I repeat, he will never respect you or love you, if you go through with your plan.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Happy Friday
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Fear and Love
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
― John Lennon
Great Quote and something for all of us to think about from time to time.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Help
My girlfriend broke up with me over a year and half but now our break up was really bad. I blame my self for some of the problems we had before she broke up with me. But now after one and half years I tried contacting her by calling and she refused to answer. Instead she sms me, asking if I miss her or do I wanted to play with her. I replied and said I do miss her, but I am not playing with her. She said she will never forgive or forget what I did to her. She was using words like this ( you fucked me up, you should fuck of, don't miss me and don't call me). What should I do, I want to make things right and for her to forgive me for what I did to her.
Confused
Wow. What impresses me about your question is your determination to make things right for her. This tells me what a good person you are. You truly deserve a chance to put things right.
The problem is this girl is really furious with you. I always say that anger is never the primary emotion. Anger conceals the more vulnerable emotions such as fear, hurt, sadness.
At first I had thought that she asked if you miss her because a part of her was hoping that you actually do miss her. But then the way she blasted you when you admitted to missing her, made me wonder if she only asked the question in order to bait you--to set you up for a beating.
When she beat you, she made reference to your having played with her. I’m assuming you know what she means.
If you want to make this right, then you need to take responsibility for what you did to her. To do this you would say: I know how much I wronged you by doing (fill in what you did). You can’t believe how much I want to make this right for you. I’m not asking you to forgive me or trust me. I just want the chance to be able to talk with you and have you tell me everything that I did wrong. Even though I can’t take back what I did, the least I can do is listen and hopefully help you heal from the pain I gave you. And I know you don’t owe me anything, but I would appreciate your feedback which will actually help me become a better person.
When you do this you have to be entirely genuine. The words have to come from your heart. If she senses that you’re only trying to worm your way back into a relationship with her, your communication will backfire.
If you are persistent and don’t give up, there’s a good chance that it will pay off. She will see that you are truly devoted and not out to play her.
If she doesn’t accept your offer, there’s nothing more you can do except learn from your mistakes and never play another woman again.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Messages of Hope
Today on Blog Talk Radio
Messages of Hope with guest Suzanne Giesemann
Are you feeling a little short on hope?
Don’t despair...In this week’s show, I’m going to be talking with Suzanne Giesemann who will be bringing her message of hope. An acclaimed inspirational speaker, she captivates audiences as she brings hope, healing, and comfort through her work.
Suzanne Giesemann has experienced one of the most unique career transitions ever – a career transition that spans dimensions! Suzanne is a retired U.S. Navy Commander. She served as a commanding officer, as special assistant to the Chief of Naval Operations, and as Aide to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on 9/11. Today she is the author of ten books, a spiritual teacher, and an evidential medium. Suzanne’s gift of communication with those on the other side provides stunning evidence of life after death. In her work, Suzanne addresses questions about the purpose of life, the nature of reality, and attuning to higher consciousness. Her work has been recognized as highly credible by afterlife researcher Dr. Gary Schwartz, Ph.D., and best-selling author Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Please join me today at 1pm (EST)
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Please join me today at 1pm (EST)
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Really Confused
Dear Dr. Love:
Currently I find myself in a very confusing situation. You see 4 months ago I packed up my car and everything I could squeeze into it, and headed to the Southeast from Seattle Washington. I left my husband of barely 2 years in search of a new beginning. I left because I could no longer handle his dishonesty and lack of emotional support. I promised myself that I'd concentrate on finding out who I was and what made me happy once I settled from my relocation, and most importantly I promised myself NO MEN!!
Well, I was in my new life no more then 2 weeks when I met the man of my dreams. He's very attractive, smart, and witty. We had so much in common and instantly hit it off. I'm currently 4 months into this relationship and everything is still going fine, but I can't seem to stop thinking about my husband (whom I am separated but not divorced). My husband and I talk on the phone at least once every two weeks, he's been calling my mom, sister, and grandmother apologizing for how neglectful he was to me and seeking their advice on how to get me back.
It seems almost like he's a totally different person when I talk to him now. All I keep thinking about lately are the words he ends are conversations with . . . 'I was wrong. I know I was an idiot. I want my wife back, and if I have to relocate to where you are that 's what I'll do. I love you so much, and I want my wife back.
I'm so torn. I miss and love my husband, but I also have feelings for the guy I'm seeing now. I care about them both, but I'm married to one. What do I do?? I don't want to hurt anyone. HELP!!!
Boy are you in a bind. All I can say to you is, you have to make up your mind regarding whether you want to give your husband a second chance or not? It sounds like a part of you wants to. If your husband were the type of man who apologized and begged for forgiveness every other day, then I'd say his talk is cheap. But, it sounds like your husband really woke up and realized what he lost.
The big question is: how do we know he won't fall back into old habits once he gets you back. And, I would ask him that question. In addition, I would want him to do some serious self and couple work to make sure that the reasons why he neglected you in the past are resolved. Make sure that you don't jump back in the saddle before you have the assurances that you need.
Point being, it is easy to say I'm sorry and I want you back, but it is hard to do the work necessary to make internal changes that stick. Is he willing to do this? He has to do and say a lot to convince you of this. I imagine you're afraid that if you give your husband a second chance, that this new man won't wait around. And, this is a risk. In a conflict like this, you simply need to take a position and go with it. There are pros and cons to each side, and if I were you I would write all the pros and cons down to help you clarify where you stand.
In reading your letter, I kept getting the sense that you would feel guilty and regretful if you didn't give your husband another chance. If that is true, then I can understand why you would want to give him another try. But, please make sure that all your conditions are met before you burn your bridges with your lover.
Good luck,
Monday, January 20, 2014
Confused and Angry
Hello,
I am writing to you for some advice about my fiance. When he is not sleeping or eating he is on this computer. His business deals with computers also, but even when he is not working he is always on this computer. He stays up until 3 and 4 in the morning doing god knows what on the computer. I talked to him about it and for about a week he spent time with me and one day he didn't even turn the thing on. I was finally happy and lately he has slipped back into the rut again. I really am beginning to hate this computer even tho that is my major in college and it is going to be my career. He is turning me against the computer because I feel that the computer is taking my place. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
Your boyfriend has one of two problems: either he has an addictive personality and/or he is using the computer in order to avoid intimacy. You are naturally feeling hurt and rejected, and have fallen into a trap that many women fall into. When we don't get what we need, we resort to nagging and complaining, which creates a nasty power struggle: In your case, the more you nag and pressure your boyfriend to quit the computer, the more he buries his nose in the keyboard. And, this pattern will only worsen, unless we change strategies.
Instead of nagging him to get off the computer, use reverse psychology. Get very busy yourself. When he wants to see you or talk with you, tell him you'd love to but you simply are too busy with rock climbing or whatever else you're into (if you're not into anything, get a hobby fast). And, when you tell him that you're busy, be light and breezy; don't sound angry or retaliatory. When he feels lonely and neglected, he should come around. And, any time he slips back into no-man's land, you pull-back too.
This technique is a proven effective way to break the kind of power struggle you're locked in. But, keep in mind, if we are dealing with deeper issues, such as an addictive personality or intimacy phobia, the technique I suggest will probably only serve as a temporary solution, and the underlying issues will probably rear their heads again.
But, don't despair, the pull-back technique I described above, can actually cure at least one of the underlying problems I mentioned: the intimacy problem. You see, if you give your boyfriend room, you can help him heal an intimacy fear. (A fear of intimacy usually conceals a deeper fear: if I let her close to me, she will chew me up and swallow me whole and I will have no identity left. So, as you see, by pulling-back yourself, you are showing him that you don't intend to take him over, which can heal intimacy phobics. )
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love )
Friday, January 17, 2014
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Woman Falling For Her Ex Boyfriend's Best Friend
Dear Dr Love,
I am in the middle of a break up with my boyfriend. I have moved on but I'm not sure he has. This would be difficult enough but I have a larger problem. I am very attracted to his best friend. It is more than physical attraction, I'm attracted to who he is. I sense that his friend is attracted to me but afraid to do anything about it. His old girlfriend is now dating his friend so he knows the pain this sort of situation can cause.
How long should I wait before I confront him or should I confront him at all? I don't want to hurt either my old boyfriend or my new love interest. Can this work out at all?
Sincerely,
Yes this can work out. The fact that you are so sensitive to your boyfriend and new love interest's feelings is wonderful. And, because of this sensitivity and caring, you should be able to move forward with the man of your choice, and do so in a sensitive way.
Here's how. You talk to your ex. , and tell him: 'Since we are no longer dating, I was interested in dating your friend so and so. I had the feeling that this might hurt you and I wanted to talk with you about it first. ' You give him an opportunity to share all his feelings, listen and understand. After this is done, then, get on with your life.
In other words, your job is not to take care of your ex. to the exclusion of your own needs. You must take care of and honor yourself first. In handling the matter the way I suggest, you don't simply roll over your ex. , you listen and respect his feelings. . . but at the same time you don't roll over yourself by denying your own desires. As for the new love interest, you can also be direct with him and say, 'I know that you know how painful it is when a best friend dates your former lover. I am interested in getting to know you better. . . would your friendship with so and so (your ex. ) stand in our way?'
Dealing directly and addressing not running from the feelings is the trick to navigating this emotional minefield.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love )
American Hope Radio
Even if you are locked in battle and have been for years, your relationship can change. Beginning with simple Cool-Down steps, you’ll learn why husband withdrawal occurs and then how to use Climate Control strategies to reset the relationship.
Women will discover the real reason why men never seem to listen,it’s nothing personal and the secret trick that actually makes them want to listen and stick around to settle disputes. My proven conflict-resolution method interrupts the cycle of fighting for the majority of couples, and can also be used to defuse disagreements among friends and family members.
Join me today at 11 am (EST) on American Hope Radio. I will be discussing my latest book Kiss Your Fights Good-Bye
Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love )
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Reading Between the Sheets
Whenever couples are locked in SexWars, oftentimes non-sexual issues are afoot.
In fact, sexual struggles are often symbolic expressions of fear of intimacy, dependency, abandonment, or loss of control.
It was time for some bedroom detective work. I use my Reading Between the Sheets technique to uncover what sexual insatiability really mean.
To do this, I ask:
- How does he/she feel when he/she didn’t have as much sex as he liked?
- What is he/she missing in the relationship, if anything?
- What is he/she missing within oneself?
- What hole is he/she trying to fill (no pun intended) by having sex?
- How long had the problem been going on?
- What had changed in the couple’s life and relationship?
- Was sex ever good between them? If so, when did it deteriorate?
Reading Between the Sheets is like peeling the layers of an onion. On the first layer, you may well discover that sexual battles often reflect deeper relationship issues that have nothing to do with sex. When we peel off the next layer, we discover that heated sexual conflicts are often fueled by Old Scars from childhood.
To read more at Psychology Today.
Dr Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Monday, January 13, 2014
How To Be Happy No Matter What
Is your happiness tied to what goes on around you? I mean, does your mood take a nosedive when life around you isn’t going perfectly, when someone says something hurtful or nasty to you, when you are in conflict with your partner or when you are without a partner?
Get ready to meet Cindy Teevens who discovered the way to stay happy no matter what goes on around her.
Join me to discover how you can create radical inner peace and happiness no matter what’s going on around you, Tuesday, January 14th, 1pm (EST) on Talk Zone Radio: http://bit.ly/NLSP5U
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Attracted to a Much Older Woman
Dear Dr. Love,
I have an issue of being very sexually and emotionally attracted to the woman 20 + years beyond my age.. This one woman is quite cute, smart and to be honest has an incredible body with just about the largest bust I have ever laid eyes on. She is so sexy and I really like her. However, I also love my wife. What should I do? I fantasize about this woman all the time and develop an erection just thinking about her.
Frustrated
You need some serious relationship advice! So here it comes.
Ever heard the saying: “keep it in your pants?”
The reason I'm quoting this saying to you is because it doesn't matter that you’re sexually and emotionally attracted to this other woman. A man’s body is wired to be attracted to all kinds of women. So what?
The fantasies you are engaging in are a form of emotional infidelity. Even though you haven’t slept with this other woman, you are emotionally cheating on your wife. If you want to keep the marriage, it’s time to stop indulging yourself in fantasies about this other woman. It’s just self-indulgence and very destructive for you, your wife and your marriage.
My advice is for you to apply your creativity to constructing a more fun and fantasy filled relationship and sex life with your wife.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Woman Who Can't Let Go of Ex.
Dear Dr. Love,
I was recently involved in a brief relationship. The relationship was trouble to begin with but I continued seeing the guy. He treated me horribly, but I put up with him. Finally we broke up technically I dumped him, but emotionally he dumped me. I know he meant a lot more to me than I did to him. I'll probably never see him again, but I'm having trouble letting go. I can't stop thinking about him. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm over him, but I'm only fooling myself. How can I let go and move on with my life?
Whenever we can't let go of an ex. , (or whenever emotions nag at us for days on end) we are dealing with unfinished childhood business. In your case, it sounds like you were abused as a kid, and your mind has drawn you to an abuser in an attempt to heal the old wound. You may think, how can being abused once again heal me? It can't. But, our minds, left to their own devices, only know one way to try to heal us. To recreate the abuses of childhood and engage us in the futile process of attempting to make the abuser change and finally love and appreciate us.
And, here's why it's hard to give up an abuser. There is such a burning hope to make this old wound right, that the mind is actually addicted to hanging on to that abuser in the hope that one day he will treat you better. Giving up the abuser, then, becomes a terrible torture and feels like giving up the hope of ever healing the original wound.
The only way around this type of problem is to go into individual or group therapy were you will develop new, non abusive relationships. At the same time, recognize that until this problem is healed in therapy, you will be drawn to abusers and find it hard to give them up. When you experience better, loving treatment in therapy, you will heal and you will develop a model for the kind of relationship you deserve in your life. Until work this out, it is safer to give outside relationships a rest.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf( aka Dr. Love)
Thursday, January 9, 2014
"Happy Hour"
1/9/2014 - 7:30pm
Spend your "Happy Hour" this week with Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love), learning how to strengthen your relationships!
Join Me Today at 1pm ( EST)
This week, I have a remarkable and inspiring show for you.
I’ll be introducing you to Michael Russer a highly regarded international speaker and author and TV personality who, beginning in September of 2011 began a year-long personal transformation that included a diagnosis of prostate cancer, radical prostatectomy, follow up intensive radiation treatments and full blown impotence. He considers his resulting impotence to be one of the biggest blessings in his life. It is because of his impotence that he and his partner discovered an entirely new approach to experiencing levels of emotional and physical intimacy that far exceeds anything either experienced prior to when things were working “correctly.” It is his personal mission in life to serve other couples who struggle with emotional and physical intimacy due to ED, impotence or simply because they have lost their “spark” and use his communications skills to share what he has learned worldwide.
If you or someone you know is suffering from ED, you won’t want to miss this show!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Woman in Love With Older Man Who Has Cold Feet
Dear Dr. Love:
I am dating a man who is 44 years old while I am 21. He is divorced and has two boys. One of which lives with him. I cannot have children due to health problems. I really enjoy being with and doing things with him. I have dated a lot and a lot of different kinds and he is the first one I have dated who meets all of the criteria for me. I fear though that the age difference is hard for him to deal with. He is scared that I will meet someone younger and want to be with them or something like that. I have tried to tell him though, I have dated younger men and they are (for the most part) immature and do not want long lasting relationships. The age difference does not matter to me. Should I pursue this relationship any further. Do you know of any relationships that have worked when there is such a big age difference.
You asked me if you should pursue this relationship. You really need to ask your lover this question. (Should I feel like giving up on us. Is that what you want me to feel?). In answer to your other question, yes, a relationship with a large age difference can work out fine, provided the couple is compatible.
Let's backtrack a second and make sure that your lover isn't using this age issue as a smoke screen for another issue. In other words, would he be frightened of commitment if you were his age? Would he be afraid of your leaving him for another man if you were his age? I would ask him these questions and see if he can discover whether he actually suffers from a fear of abandonment. I would also ask him to be more specific about why he thinks the age difference could result in your leaving him one day. Make him talk openly. Is he afraid that he wouldn't be able to perform sexually and that you would be forced to seek satisfaction elsewhere?
Find out what other fears he has and talk them through. This should help
Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
36 and Waiting Patiently
Dear Dr. Love,
I am 36 years old and been dating a 36 year old guy for 7 years.We truly love each other and he told me he even talked to a couple about great honey moon spots.My question is how long do you wait for the one you love to ask you to marry him? We can’t stand the thought of not seeing each other, but yet if I even hint at talking about things, he says lets not get into that right now. I know he loves me but he also needs a lot of time alone, which I don’t require much of. It is hard to not think about it and talk about it so What DO I DO? Please help out if you can!
Notice that your friend brought up, on his own, the question of good honeymoon spots. So, we know where his mind is ranging. Since he is moving more and more toward commitment, the best thing for you to do is to bite your tongue and not mention the subject. My point is simple. Every time you bring the subject of marriage up, even if you utter only the slightest hint, it sends him back a few steps. So, hang back or you’re going to be past menopause before the guy pops the question.
Instead of nudging him for commitment, actually take on his fears and voice them as if they were his own. Knowing him, you probably can figure out what his fears are (no freedom, no privacy). Whatever you think his fear is, voice it yourself. You might say, ‘I can see why people would hesitate to marry, how can they have enough time for themselves. ' By going along with his resistance and extending upon it (Extension Joining), you will actually help dissolve it. Remember, if you buck the resistance head on, with pressure tactics, the resistance gets stronger. Now, all the while you’re joining his fears, by all means set an end date for yourself, after which you won’t wait anymore, just to keep yourself from going insane or panicking that this waiting will never end.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)
Monday, January 6, 2014
In Love But Out of Words
Dear Dr. Love,
I have this crush on this guy I like. I've had a crush on him for several weeks now. What my question is, is how do I tell him that I'm in love with him? My feelings are so strong for him. I just need a way to tell him. Please help me solve this!
I don't know if you are at a true loss of words, or whether you are afraid to say what's on your mind, for fear of rejection. If you are simply at a loss for words, then I would say exactly how you feel, minus the four letter word, love.
I'm not saying that your feelings of love are wrong, but, if you voice them on the first round, you could scare the guy away. So, instead, you could say something positive or complimentary to the guy you like. Study his good features and choose one of the features that you like most about him. For example, you might say, 'I wanted to tell you how much I admire your kindness or intelligence, and would like to get to know you better. '
By saying that you are interested in deepening the relationship, you kill two birds with one stone: First, you don't overwhelm the guy with love declarations, which may seem premature since you haven't even started dating! In which case, he could run, as I said already. But, also when you stick your emotional toe in the water, rather than diving in head first, you protect yourself from outright rejection.
So, let this relationship percolate like fine coffee. Begin a friendship, then let that deepen into more.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)
Friday, January 3, 2014
It’s Dr. Love here..
As the New Year stretches out before you, have you thought about where you would like to be one year from now?
I mean, do you have specific dreams for your future, your work, yourself and your relationships?
Specifically, do you have what I call a “soul goal?
In my new book, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye, I teach you how to be present to those you love, how to listen to them when their feelings are hurt and even when they are angry, and how to speak when we’re angry so that those close to us want to hear and respond to us.
Follow the simple steps outlined in Kiss Your Fights Good-bye and you will soon be fulfilling your highest and most divine calling on earth--to fully love with your entire heart and soul, even in the hard times.
Wishing you a New Year filled with love and peace!
Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)
Thursday, January 2, 2014
JOIN ME TODAY AT 1PM EST ON BLOG TALK RADIO
In this show, I focus on 8 proven steps for setting oneself free of habitual behavior patterns that interfere with the achievement of New Year’s resolutions. Anyone looking to lose weight, find love or romance, make more money or find a better job, or achieve any number of goals should listen in. I’ll also show how to create a relationship resolution plan that will crank one’s love life into gear for the new year.
Please join me today on BlogTalkRadio.com/ask-dr-love.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
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