Saturday, December 14, 2013

Afraid to Ask Her Out

Hello Dr. Love,


I am a 16 year old male, and I have had my eye on this beautiful, charming girl (or should I say young woman) for a long time. I have been debating whether or not I should ask her out. I always tell myself to wait and see if she shows anything to even hint that she likes me, and thee are many things she does that could be signs that she does. I just am really shy, and I do not think that I am good enough for her. I need advice on what I should do. 



You sound absolutely adorable. Your problem isn't that you are shy (many people are) it's that your self-esteem isn't where it should be (I don't think I'm good enough for her). How come you don't you know how great you are? Just from reading your question, I saw special qualities in you--honesty, openness, ability to care. You need to work on improving your self-image (go to my website
and type in the search words: shy, self-esteem and scared to make the first move).

 Begin a conversation by asking her questions about herself (who doesn't like talking about him or herself), show that you are interested in what is interesting to her. . . in short, be a friend. The best love affairs and happiest marriages are founded on solid friendships. Even though you feel unworthy of her, and afraid of rejection, how much worse will you feel if you don't take a chance? Keep in mind that if you ease in through the friendship door, you will be protecting yourself from humiliation.

Lead with positive statements about her start a friendship. What's the worst that can happen? She'll say she doesn't want to be your friend. Not likely. The girl would have to be nuts to turn away a man that is demonstrates such interest and devotion. After you become friends, then you can discuss your feelings about wanting more from the relationship. All you need is the nerve to override your fears. 

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aks Dr. Love)

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