Problems with my older roommate

Hi Dr. Love,

 I'd like to know your opinion on this.  Here is my situation, I live with a woman that is quite a bit older than me(47) but she is my roommate at the moment.  I made a huge mistake a while back, got drunk and we ended up having sex.  Well now the thing is she has this attitude now like she expects sex.  I've tried to explain to her that it was a mistake, but it's almost like it's not registering.  She does things now like grab my crotch and she will get upset if I refuse to be intimate with her.  How can I be diplomatic as a roommate and still get the message through that I'm not attracted to her?

Signed by: 

diplomatic roommate

Answer: 

Wow. You are in a tight spot! Only not the tight spot she has in mind! So you got drunk and had sex with her, and now she’s refusing to hear that you’re not attracted to her. I imagine she figures you’re playing hard to get.

Wow! Her attempts at seduction leave a lot to be desired. She’s treating you like an object, and her approach is very aggressive and disrespectful. Here’s the deal. Since she’s not a subtle person, your attempts at being subtle are going right over her head. I’m afraid that the only way to get through to someone like this is to hit her over the head with a brick. I don’t mean that literally. I mean you’re going to have to be undiplomatic and blunt.

You can try one more attempt at diplomacy, but I don’t think it will reach her. If you want to try, you could say, “I notice that despite my repeated statements telling you that I don’t want to have sex again, you seem to not be hearing me. Is the reason that you keep on grabbing me because you think I’m playing hard to get and that I don’t mean what I say?” See what she says. If she says that she did think you were playing with her, then you can tell her that you are not. You want her to stop grabbing you.

I suspect that you’re going to have to be even more blunt. She’s blunt in the way she’s grabbing your crotch; you will likely need to be equally blunt with your words and say, “You don’t seem to be getting the point. I do not want to have sex with you. I was drunk and didn’t even know who I was having sex with. It was a mistake. I want you to stop coming on to me.”

I'm afraid that the only way you're going to reach her is by being assertive. If she still doesn’t lay off, you need to get another roommate!

Good Luck,

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)