HELP! I 'm afraid that my relationship with my boyfriend is taking a wrong turn. I think our relationship is based too much on sex. Don't get me wrong, I love the sex part of our relationship, but it's getting to be too much. We have sex so often it's like the weather channel at our house. My boyfriend is so smart, I can become easily intimidated by him. Sometimes I wonder if he only loves me for our mind shattering orgasms. I mean, we have sex on the stairs, in the hall, on the table, EVERYWHERE!
Shouldn't there be more to our relationship? I don't want to give up the sex, but, I want more from him than his body. (Gorgeous as it may be. ) Too much.
If you feel that there is too much sex, then there's too much sex. What concerns me is your statement about feeling intimidated into having sex. I read between the lines of your letter that you are afraid to be dropped if you dare say 'no.' No wonder that you feel like sex is all there is in this relationship. You must feel his sex toy. How degrading for you.
Why is sex so high on your boyfriend's list? It sounds like this guy is using sex to avoid other types of intimacy, such as emotional sharing. You deserve more out of your relationship. And, in order to get more, you need to define for yourself what 'more 'means. Once you are clear on what you want, clearly tell him what you need. (Avoid this common pitfall: Don't blame him for what he isn't giving you, directly state what you want. ) If he is capable of real intimacy, then he will grow if necessary in order to meet your needs. If he bucks, then we may be dealing with a guy who is too frightened or limited to connect.
In either case, you might try some couples counseling, to see if a third party can help you get your point across and help him overcome his own intimacy blocks. Good luck. I hope that things start looking up (you know what I mean. )
Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr Love)
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