Understand the three main reasons why he may resist opening up to you

In order to help your guy talk, you need to understand the three main reasons why they resist doing so.

First: The male gender role itself encourages guys to keep their feelings close to the vest. This vest is more like a straightjacket that demands of men that they behave in a “macho” way by avoiding the appearance of weakness and vulnerability. Instead of talking about feelings, they focus instead on actions, goals and outcomes.

Second: When a man loves you he doesn’t want to hurt you. This is why many men hesitate to say what they’re thinking and feeling because they want to protect you.

Third: Men often feel inadequate when it comes to emotional communication. They are afraid to open up emotionally fraught discussions because they don’t feel able to hold their own verbally. They may also be afraid of facing your own emotional intensity–most especially your anger. Your anger upsets them more than you could ever imagine, especially when they love you and want to make you happy.http://www.askdrlove.com/news/how-get-man-open-you-emotionally

Can A Long Distance Relationship Work?

Long-distance relationships are difficult to make go the distance due the fact that physical absence is a lens that magnifies and distorts feelings. When a partner is out of sight, the mind becomes a blank screen onto which we project horror movies that are more like sequels to our past traumas. This causes us to brace for lightning to strike twice. So, for example, if you were cast off in a past relationship, you will be casting yourself as the star of the movie Castaway part two--meaning you will be expecting yet another abandonment.

No need to worry. You can shred the blank screen and turn your mental horror movies into a happy ending love story using my 5 simple steps:

1) Daily Maintenance. When you're not in close physical proximity, you have to go the emotional distance by doing extra daily due diligence. This means you're going to need to give your partner even more reassurances of your love than couples who live together. This will put your "love muscle" in tip-top shape so that when you eventually live together full-time, you'll have the skills to take your love to the finish line.

2) Be Transparent. Make sure that you share the details of your day--especially who you saw or will see. This trick helps you to be more present and real in each others' day-to-day lives and fends off jealousy, which is a common problem in long-distance relationships.

3) Avoid Texting No Nos. Don’t tackle tough topics via text (say that 3x fast!). When conflicts arise, remember you can’t address emotionally fraught topics by text. So get on the phone or Skype and TALK the old fashioned way.

4) Have Sex From Afar. When you’re a long distance couple, it’s easy for your sex life to become an ex life. When you’re randy, here’s where technology comes in handy! Have a Skype slumber Party, but don’t go to sleep. Log on to get your freak on.

5) Long Distance Date.  Just because you’re not physically together, doesn’t mean you can’t and shouldn’t have date nights. Get on the phone and watch a movie together, or cook the same dish together and then share the meal, or even get on the phone or Skype, snuggle up and fall asleep together.

You may want to check out my recent HLNTV appearance discussing long distance relationships.

Ten Ways to Head off a Fight

1. If you are on the receiving end of your mate's anger, resist the temptation to become defensive. If necessary, just shut up.
2. Speak only to ask your mate to explain what you did that was upsetting and how it made him or her feel when you did it.
3. Listen to the other person's point of view.
4. Repeat back what your mate has told you.
5. Ask if what you have repeated back accurately reflects what upset your mate.
6. Repeat until your mate indicates that you have understood his or her point of view.
7. Usually just understanding is sufficient to head off the storm. But if it is not, say the following: "You still seem upset, what can I say that would make you feel better?"
8. If you are feeling attacked and criticized, say the following: "I know what I did was wrong, but it would really help for you to tell me what I can do differently in the future."
9. Try to get your mate to reword the complaints or criticisms into positive suggestions for the future. For example: When mate says, "You never take me on dates anymore." You say: "I think you would like me to take you out on a date, more often, is that right?"
10. Keep on practicing. It gets easier and easier to follow the above steps.

Spotting Online Dating Fakes, Freaks and Frauds

If you’ve been tuning in to my show for a while, you know that my husband died of a bee sting while we were vacationing in Italy. After a couple years, and much nudging from friends, I gave Internet dating a whirl! As a result, I personally came into contact with every flavor of online dating fakes, freaks and frauds.

Each year, millions of educated and successful professional men and women are “taken.”  The romance scams perpetrated against widows alone comprise a multi-million dollar industry.  

Tune in and discover my foolproof method for identifying Emotional Predators and financial scammers before you get hurt emotionally and/or financially.

The Ask Dr. Love Radio Show Airs Tuesday, October 15th, 1pm EST on Talk Zone Radio.

Why Honesty Isn't Always the Best Policy

Whether you’re getting it off your chest, venting, expressing yourself, airing your feelings or  “just being honest," the truth about honesty is that honesty is not always the best policy.

The truth is honesty is often a veiled form of self-indulgence.In a nutshell, when feelings build up, it’s frustrating to “sit” on them. And, of course, it feels damn good to release them. That feel good sensation is a form of gratification. When we dump emotional turds on others, we are flushing our relationships down the toilet.

The good news is you can make the decision to change the way you handle your angry feelings; to consider what you say before you speak, to ask yourself how the other person will feel before you say or do x, y or z. Consider whether what you intend to say or do will be helpful and constructive to the other person and your relationship or not.

Dr. Love's Relationship Rescue Kit

From my professional counseling experience I know that it is one thing to save a relationship before it falls apart, and quite another to put it back together after it crumbles. I  created a step-by-step plan to help people get their ex back that was as simple and effective as possible. I figured that shouldn’t be too hard since that’s what I’ve been doing both in my advice columns and in private practice for the past three decades. I had already helped so many couples go from breakup to makeup. Check out  Dr. Love’s Relationship Rescue Kit  to help mend a broken relationship.

An Intimate Peek At Female Frigidity, With Guest Author Cris Mazza

Tuesday Oct 8th, 1pm( EST) on Talk Zone Radio: http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

Join me this week for a discussion with Cris Mazza, author of Something Wrong with Her.

Cris’ story is a love story that describes her reconnection with her childhood love, the man who never stopped loving her, frigidity and all.

Join me for what promises to be a great show.http://askdrlove.com/radio-shows/intimate-look-sexual-frigidility-author-cris-mazza