Fridays' Love Quote

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche

Fridays' Love Quote

“I know enough to know that no woman should ever marry a man who hated his mother.” 

― Martha Gellhorn,

Love Quote for Friday

“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. ” 

Agatha Christie

Exciting Invitation!

Hi, it's Dr. Love here with a very exciting invitation!

This Wednesday, March 12th  at 12 noon EST, I'll be doing a live Google+  Hangout. We are going to have a fun conversation on Kiss Your Fights Good-bye!

Google Hangouts is like watching a live TV show where you can participate in two ways:

1) If you're on Google+ you can actually join in and be a part of the show! Just click on the link below and click on the YES button on the event invite… you can leave your comments or questions in the comment thread.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/events/crcqmfdg5p2k85ggu7v1uqibot8

OR

2) If you're not on Google+ you can watch, listen and comment live via YouTube!

Here's the link to watch live on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/bringbackdesire

3) And you can even watch on YouTube from your mobile phone.

How cool is that!

4) If you can't catch the show live, we'll post the event invite link on Facebook so you can watch later when it's convenient for you.

However, it's more fun live… where you can speak to me live and ask me your questions! 

Hope to hang out with you soon!

Dr. Jamie Turndorf( aka Dr. Love)

How Understanding Creates Longstanding Love!

Today on Ask Dr Love Radio,

Did you know that happy couples are happy because they know how to enter each other’s emotional realities and see the world from the other’s vantage point?

The technical name for this skill is Partial Identification. What this skill entails is keeping one foot on your own side of the emotional fence while at the same time stepping into your partner’s emotional shoes.

No relationship can thrive without this skill.

Unfortunately, in distressed relationships, partners never Partially Identify with each other; instead, they ram their individual realities down each other’s throats...which leads to ringing each other’s necks!

Because Partial Identification is the master key to heading off fights--and creating a solid bond--you’ll want to tune in to learn how to master this skill.

And, by the way, this skill will improve all your relationships with friends, family, kids and co-workers.

I loved hearing from you last week, so don’t hesitate to reach out to me this week. The number to call is: 1-888-GOFORIT. If you’re outside the US, dial the US country code, followed by the numbers: 1-847-470-0937 or 1-847-470-1114.

Join me today at 1pm (EST)

Listen live on Talk Zone Radio! Click here

Dr Jamie Turndrof(aka Dr. Love)

Fridays' Love Quote

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)

Cat Nap

One of my fans, left the room while reading my new book. When she returned, her cat was reading the book himself! Finally, he feel asleep with a smile on his face, dreaming happy dreams of loving, harmonious relationships with..mice, I imagine!

Check out my book today!

In Honor of Valentine’s Day

Tuesday, February 11th, 1pm (EST) on Talk Zone Radio: http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

This week, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m going to tell you all about true love--how to recognize it and how to keep it alive using my Five-Step Recipe for Romance.

Whether you’re looking for true love or your love life needs a shot in the arm, you’ve come to the right place!

So tune in to find out how to plump up your passion this Valentine’s Day and beyond.

This week, I want to invite you to call into the show and ask me your questions! Toll Free at 1- 888-463-6738

HOW TO LISTEN LIVE: You can tune in to Internet Radio from anywhere

and call in using any kind of phone, including Skype. Use this link to

go to this show's page and listen live:  http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

ARCHIVED RADIO SHOWS. This show will be recorded and can be found on

BlogTalkRadio.com, AskDrLove.com, and iTunes.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)

Fridays' Love Quote

“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.” 

― Zelda Fitzgerald

How To Listen With The Ears Of Our Hearts

In this episode of Ask Dr. Love radio, I discusses the power of listening to head off and resolve most relationship conflicts.

This week on Ask Dr. Love Radio I explain the link between relationship fighting and lack of listening skills.

“On the road to conflict resolution, listening is the superhighway!”

It there comes as no surprise that listening is nearly absent in conflicted relationships.

Find out why so many couples fall into the “deaf pit” and how we can use our ears to steer clear of most relationship conflicts.

Tune in to Ask Dr. Love radio and find out now to listen your way back to love!

HOW TO LISTEN LIVE: You can tune in to Internet Radio from anywhere

and call in using any kind of phone, including Skype. Use this link to

go to this show's page and listen live:   http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

Call into the ASk Dr. Love Show at 1pm (EST) 888-463-6748  

ARCHIVED RADIO SHOWS. This show will be recorded and can be found on

BlogTalkRadio.com, AskDrLove.com, and iTunes.

STAY INFORMED!  The best way to keep up with immediate news regarding

radio shows, columns, and special product discounts is to Like my

Facebook page at http://facebook.com/askdrlove, or follow me on

Twitter at: http://twitter.com/askdrlove.

Join me today at 11 am (PST) on Hayhouse Radio

Please join me Today!  For a Live call-in show! US and Canada toll free 1-866-254-1579
Outside dial the US country code then 760-918-4300

Kiss Your Fights Good-Bye with Dr. Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D Discover ten simple steps for cooling conflict and rekindling your relationship with Dr. Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D. Known as Dr. Love, Dr. Jamie Turndorf has been transforming conflict into connection for 30 years. Dr. Turndorf talks with Diane Ray about her groundbreaking techniques featured in her book Kiss Your Fights Good-Bye and how you can apply these methods to stop conflicts in all of your relationships.

Friday

May you have all the Love you desire!

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)

Very Troubled

Dear Doctor Love:

My live-in girlfriend and I fight very often of late and it seems to me to be over the least little thing! I admit that I can get very irritated at times but it seems that both of our tolerance levels have hit rock bottom. I love her with all my heart but it seems that we are falling apart.

I think it is related to the fact that she just will not let go of past problems. Whenever we fight I swear that she has a satellite link up to a computer with all the things I did wrong catalogued. When we begin to argue she slaps up the past to me and says very mean things. What I would like to know is’ What can I do to make things better so that we can have a life together?’

Signed:

Very troubled

Answer:

Your girlfriend is caught in what I call Fight Traps which are dysfunctional fighting tactics that ruin relationships. Her Fight Traps are: Bringing Up Ancient History and Character Assassination.

When your girlfriend hurls Ancient History in your face, you naturally feel attacked and defensive. In this defensive state of mind, you are unable to listen to what is bothering her. This creates yet another unresolved issue, more anger and frustration on her part, and more crap to be thrown up to you in the future. You are trapped in a major vicious cycle.

There is only one way to break your fighting cycle, and to do this we must derail your girlfriend’s Fight Traps.

1. You need to tell your girlfriend: I know I’ve said and done things to upset you in the past. Unfortunately, I can’t change that. But I can start from now and try to understand what I did and how it made you feel.
2. Next you must guide your girlfriend to focus on one issue–the current one: She must describe the behavior that upset her and state how that behavior of yours made her feel.
3. If she sidetracks onto Ancient History, steer her back to the current issue. As for the Character Assassinations we’ll deal with that later in my answer.
4. Next, listen carefully to what she says is currently bothering her.
5. Repeat back what you heard and ask her if you have understood. Keep playing back what she says until she confirms that you have understood her.
6. Take responsibility for upsetting her. (Remember, her feelings of upset aren’t wrong or right. They are just her feelings and they need to be understood if you want to resolve your conflicts and form a lasting relationship with her.) If you succeed in listening and understanding, she will feel much less angry with you.

Little by little, if you take care of business in the moment, soon there will be no Ancient History to throw in your face.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Join me tomorrow at 1pm (EST) and kiss your fights good-bye

Are You Ready to Kiss Your Fights Good-bye?

Are fights ruining your relationship?

Are you on the verge of a breakup because of your fights?

Well, have no fear, Dr. Love is here!

My conflict resolution method is just what the doctor ordered.

In this show, I’m going to talk about the most common fight pattern. It’s called the Demand/Withdraw Negative Escalation Cycle or Husband Withdrawal for short. And, no, I’m not talking about a natural form of birth control!

Husband Withdrawal refers to the way men distance themselves in order to escape conflict.

Unfortunately, the more a more a man withdraws, the angrier his partner gets, which creates more fighting and more Husband Withdrawal. This vicious cycle is the most common fight pattern among couples and the number one cause of relationship conflict, breakups, divorce and domestic violence.

Don’t worry. I have developed the first proven method for stopping Husband Withdrawal dead in its tracks.

When guys stop withdrawing, they actually want to stick around and resolve conflicts with you, which is easily achieved using my simple step-by-step conflict resolution method.

Tune in to find out how easy it is to kiss your fights good-bye and say hello to a lifetime of lasting love!

Tomorrow, Thursday at 1pm (EST) on Blog Talk Radio

Digital Love

Looking for true love, or at least someone cute to watch Net!ix with? There’s no better place to find that person than on the Web. Here are some tips to help you online-date like a champ

BY DR. JAMIE TURNDORF (AKA DR. LOVE)

ILLUSTRATION BY NATALIE ANDREWSON

Happy Friday

Tap into the well of love that lives within you and you won't be rocked by what does or doesn't happen this weekend!

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Woman Falling For Her Ex Boyfriend's Best Friend

Dear Dr Love,

I am in the middle of a break up with my boyfriend. I have moved on but I'm not sure he has. This would be difficult enough but I have a larger problem. I am very attracted to his best friend. It is more than physical attraction, I'm attracted to who he is. I sense that his friend is attracted to me but afraid to do anything about it. His old girlfriend is now dating his friend so he knows the pain this sort of situation can cause.

How long should I wait before I confront him or should I confront him at all? I don't want to hurt either my old boyfriend or my new love interest. Can this work out at all?

Sincerely, 

Woman falling for her boyfriend's best friend

Answer: 

Yes this can work out. The fact that you are so sensitive to your boyfriend and new love interest's feelings is wonderful. And, because of this sensitivity and caring, you should be able to move forward with the man of your choice, and do so in a sensitive way.

Here's how. You talk to your ex. , and tell him: 'Since we are no longer dating, I was interested in dating your friend so and so. I had the feeling that this might hurt you and I wanted to talk with you about it first. ' You give him an opportunity to share all his feelings, listen and understand. After this is done, then, get on with your life.

In other words, your job is not to take care of your ex. to the exclusion of your own needs. You must take care of and honor yourself first. In handling the matter the way I suggest, you don't simply roll over your ex. , you listen and respect his feelings. . . but at the same time you don't roll over yourself by denying your own desires. As for the new love interest, you can also be direct with him and say, 'I know that you know how painful it is when a best friend dates your former lover. I am interested in getting to know you better. . . would your friendship with so and so (your ex. ) stand in our way?'

 Dealing directly and addressing not running from the feelings is the trick to navigating this emotional minefield.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love )

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter!

American Hope Radio

Even if you are locked in battle and have been for years, your relationship can change. Beginning with simple Cool-Down steps, you’ll learn why husband withdrawal occurs and then how to use Climate Control strategies to reset the relationship.

Women will discover the real reason why men never seem to listen,it’s nothing personal and the secret trick that actually makes them want to listen and stick around to settle disputes.  My proven conflict-resolution method interrupts the cycle of fighting for the majority of couples, and can also be used to defuse disagreements among friends and family members.

Join me today at 11 am (EST) on American Hope Radio. I will be discussing my latest book Kiss Your Fights Good-Bye

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love )

"Happy Hour"

1/9/2014 - 7:30pm

Spend your "Happy Hour" this week with Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love), learning how to strengthen your relationships!

Listen Live: http://mix97fm.com/

Woman in Love With Older Man Who Has Cold Feet

Dear Dr. Love:

I am dating a man who is 44 years old while I am 21. He is divorced and has two boys. One of which lives with him. I cannot have children due to health problems. I really enjoy being with and doing things with him. I have dated a lot and a lot of different kinds and he is the first one I have dated who meets all of the criteria for me. I fear though that the age difference is hard for him to deal with. He is scared that I will meet someone younger and want to be with them or something like that. I have tried to tell him though, I have dated younger men and they are (for the most part) immature and do not want long lasting relationships. The age difference does not matter to me. Should I pursue this relationship any further. Do you know of any relationships that have worked when there is such a big age difference.

Answer: 

You asked me if you should pursue this relationship. You really need to ask your lover this question. (Should I feel like giving up on us. Is that what you want me to feel?). In answer to your other question, yes, a relationship with a large age difference can work out fine, provided the couple is compatible.

Let's backtrack a second and make sure that your lover isn't using this age issue as a smoke screen for another issue. In other words, would he be frightened of commitment if you were his age? Would he be afraid of your leaving him for another man if you were his age? I would ask him these questions and see if he can discover whether he actually suffers from a fear of abandonment. I would also ask him to be more specific about why he thinks the age difference could result in your leaving him one day. Make him talk openly. Is he afraid that he wouldn't be able to perform sexually and that you would be forced to seek satisfaction elsewhere?

Find out what other fears he has and talk them through. This should help

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)