Showing posts with label relationship help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship help. Show all posts

Monday, May 12, 2014

Are You Taking Things Too Personally (And Is This Putting a Hurt on Your Relationship?)

Ask Dr. Love Radio

Tuesday, May 13th, 12 noon (EST) on Google Hangouts and YouTube.


Do you often feel like your partner is putting you down or blaming you...even when he/she swears that’s not the case?


If you said, “yes,” you may be suffering from what’s called Excessive Personalization.


Excessive Personalization is a cognitive distortion that springs out of the narcissism of childhood in which kids believe the world revolves around them. Many people never outgrow the “baby brain.” This combined with being criticized as a child can result in the tendency to self-blame and to hear criticism from our partners even when criticism isn’t being delivered.


And when you feel criticized and put down, the natural reaction is to become angry. Of course, anger begets an angry response. This leads to a downward spiral of fighting that has divorce (or breakup) written all over it.


There is a way out!


Tune in to this week’s show and discover my 7 steps for eliminating Excessive Personalization. When you discover how to train your brain to level with you, rather than level you, you will be able to substitute Excessive Personalization for the ability to see and hear what your partner is actually saying! When this happens, it’s time to sit back and watch your relationship soar to new levels of happiness and joy.
HOW TO LISTEN LIVE:




ARCHIVED RADIO SHOWS. If you can’t catch the live show, it will be recorded and can be watched at a later time on WebTalkRadio.net and Ask Dr. Love.


STAY INFORMED!  The best way to keep up with immediate news regarding radio shows, columns, and special product discounts is to Like my Facebook page at:
facebook.com/askdrlove, or follow me on Twitter at twitter.com/askdrlove.

Use this link to listen to Ask Dr. Love shows on AskDrLove.com NOW: http://bit.ly/10K1VJe

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr Love)


Monday, April 7, 2014

How Your Voice Can Attract or Repel Love with Guest Jill Mattson

Ask Dr Love Radio Show


Tuesday, April 8th, 1pm (EST) on Talk Zone Radio: http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

Did you know that even the slightest edge in your voice can set your guy’s teeth on edge?

It’s true!

Men are highly sensitive to the smallest modulations in a woman’s voice.

This means that your voice alone can trigger ANS arousal and withdrawal reactions in a man.

And, you know what happens to your voice when a guy starts withdrawing from you?! Vicious cycle time! ‘Cause, when you raise your voice, you’re trigger more withdrawal behaviors!

This week, I’ll be sharing how you can use your voice to stop a guy from withdrawing and even how you can use your vocal chords to tug at the strings of his heart.  

Tune in for a fascinating discussion with Jill Mattson, author, artist, musician and widely recognized expert and composer in the emerging field of Sound Healing. Jill has written four books and produced six CD's that combine intricate Sound Healing techniques with her original Award winning musical compositions.
If you’re in the US, you can call me toll free at: 1-888-GOFORIT. If you’re outside the US, dial the US country code, followed by the numbers: 1-847-470-0937 or 1-847-470-1114.
HOW TO LISTEN LIVE: You can tune in to Internet Radio from anywhere
and call using any kind of phone, including Skype. Use this link to
go to this show's page and listen live:  

ARCHIVED RADIO SHOWS. This show will be recorded and can be found on
BlogTalkRadio.com, AskDrLove.com, and iTunes.

STAY INFORMED!  The best way to keep up with immediate news regarding
radio shows, columns, and special product discounts is to Like my
Facebook page at http://facebook.com/askdrlove, or follow me on





Friday, April 4, 2014

Fridays' Love Quote

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” 

Joan Crawford



Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Desperately in Love


I am 20 years old, and I am a college student in Boston but I am from Ecuador (south-America). I met a girl here who is from Spain and she is 19. We met and we were friends at first but after that we fell in love and we have been together for 2 months. I love her, she loves me but the problem is she is going back to Spain this 20th of december and not coming back again.

I am dying, I am desperate, my life is so miserable just thinking about when she leaves. I want to go visit her in Spain but don't know if it is going to be a good idea. I have never been so in love with somebody, she is the right one for me, I know it but don't know if I should keep trying to be together with her after she leaves. I am going back home to Ecuador this 20th also but coming back in january but she won't be here with me anymore.

Sometimes I want to die, please give me advice, I think you are the only one that can help me. Thank you.



The level of love that you feel for your girlfriend is rare and so beautiful. Since you say that she is the right person for you, I am surprised to hear you hesitating about whether or not to keep the relationship going. What is the hesitation about? If you are sure of your love, why would there be any doubt?

Could it be that you are unsure about her level of devotion? That is, do you sense that your girlfriend doesn't want to maintain the relationship? Are you reading her leaving the Country as a sign of a lack of commitment on her part? If you are unsure about her feelings, you need to ask her to be direct with you in terms of whether or not she wishes to have an ongoing relationship. If it turns out that you both share the same level of caring, then, by all means, move heaven and earth to stay together. And, at the same time, if you must remain separated by a great distance, remind yourselves that the separation is only temporary. Make sure to arrange to rejoin each other as soon as possible.

If, God forbid, it turns out that she doesn't have the level of maturity or patience to maintain a long distance relationship, I can only say she is a fool to give up the kind of love that you offer. I know that if she decides to cut off the relationship that this will break your heart. Promise me that, no matter how heartbroken you feel, that you will not actually take your life. I want your promise that you will go on living and not deprive us all of such a loving heart.



Friday, March 28, 2014

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Join Me Today

Join Me Today at 1pm (EST) on Blog Talk Radio!


Why is Mary-Kate Olsen, a beautiful, successful and wealthy celebrity, getting hitched to a guy who’s old enough to be her dad?

We all know that millions of women choose older men as life partners and spouses because older guys are often more able to provide financial safety and security.

But Mary-Kate doesn’t need a guy to support her financially.

So what’s her reason?

This week, I gave an exclusive interview in the National Enquirer Magazine in which I explained the real reason why Mary-Kate is tying the knot with a guy who’s old enough to be her dad. The reason for her choice? Those famous Old Scars that I talk about!

Tune in as I unravel Mary-Kate’s story…


I’ll also be talking about why so many women are going for older guys–and what younger guys can do to make themselves more appealing to younger women!



If you have missed any shows, they are available on demand at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ask-dr-love

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

What is Too Young?

I am romantically involved with a much younger woman.

She does not seem to worry about our age difference, but I do. Every thing else being equal, at what point should a couple be really concerned? 20 years difference? 30 years? 40 years? 50 years? Any advice??

Signed by: 



Your question reminds me of a bit that I heard on Car Talk.

A man calls in and asks about his girlfriend's car. He then says, 'I'm really not calling about the car. I'm calling to say that my girlfriend is quite a bit younger than I am and I wanted to ask you if you think I should continue seeing her'. One of the Car Talk hosts asks how much younger she is. He says 30 years. The other host says, 'an age difference like that can be fatal', to which the other host replies, 'If she dies, she dies.' But seriously folks. . . .

You need to keep in mind that the things we worry about rarely come to pass. The disasters we brace for that never come. Because, as I've seen, fate always seems to serve a curve ball that we never saw coming. . . . So why live in the future. Why brace for imaginary disasters. You could end up getting hit by a bus tomorrow! So don't focus on rules.

Couples can be miserable and incompatible even though they are the same age, and couples with a great age difference can be very compatible and happy together. What matters is whether you love each other and whether you enjoy your life together. If you do, then why not treasure the gift and enjoy it for as long as you live.

This being said, I also think you need to flesh out what frightens you about the age difference. Are you afraid that you won't be able to hold her as you grow older? Are you worried that you won't be able to satisfy her sexually as you age? Are you fearful that she'll drop you later in life?

It's vital that you figure out the origin of your fear. When you do, you will then be in a position to resolve the real issue that troubles you. As your self-reflection will soon reveal, your concern over the age difference is a smokescreen for a deeper fear. We need to identify that fear and work it through. Then you will feel free to move forward with her and enjoy your life together


Monday, March 24, 2014

Why is Mary-Kate Olsen getting hitched to a guy who’s old enough to be her dad?

Ask Dr Love Radio Show

Tuesday, March 25th, 1pm (EST) on Talk Zone Radio: http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

Why is Mary-Kate Olsen, a beautiful, successful and wealthy celebrity, getting hitched to a guy who’s old enough to be her dad?

We all know that millions of women choose older men as life partners and spouses because older guys are often more able to provide financial safety and security.

But Mary-Kate doesn’t need a guy to support her financially.

So what’s her reason?

This week, I gave an exclusive interview in the
National Enquirer Magazine in which I explained the real reason why Mary-Kate is tying the knot with a guy who’s old enough to be her dad. The reason for her choice? Those famous Old Scars that I talk about!
Tune in as I unravel Mary-Kate’s story…

I’ll also be talking about why so many women are going for older guys--and what younger guys can do to make themselves more appealing to younger women!   

If you’re in the US, you can call me toll free at: 1-888-GOFORIT. If you’re outside the US, dial the US country code, followed by the numbers: 1-847-470-0937 or 1-847-470-1114.
HOW TO LISTEN LIVE: You can tune in to Internet Radio from anywhere
and call in using any kind of phone, including Skype. Use this link to
go to this show's page and listen live:  

ARCHIVED RADIO SHOWS. This show will be recorded and can be found on
BlogTalkRadio.com, AskDrLove.com, and iTunes.

STAY INFORMED!  The best way to keep up with immediate news regarding
radio shows, columns, and special product discounts is to Like my
Facebook page at http://facebook.com/askdrlove, or follow me on
Twitter at: http://twitter.com/askdrlove.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Ask Dr Love




This week on Ask Dr. Love Radio, I speak with guest Ande Lyons, the founder and Chief Passion Curator for BringBackDesire.com where she tastefully and playfully shares tips, tools and resources with women who want more sensuality and excitement in their lives.

Join Me Today and Call in @ 1-888-463-6748


Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

I Need Her Love


I have been dating my girlfriend for six months now. We have known each other for about four years. We tried having a relationship last summer that only lasted two months. Now that we've been together for six months I feel that our relationship has not grown emotionally, spiritually or physically. I feel like we are still just friends. We are not very intimate with each other. We do not hold, hug or touch each other very often.

With this in mind I think you know that the most intimate thing a couple could do has not happened. I 'm okay with that though. It is the little signs of affection that I yearn for. She tells me that she is not used to showing affection. At one point she felt uncomfortable spending the night at my house. I think that has changed. While in bed, we do not hold each other. I guess I should give you this information before I go any further. I am 27 and she is 20.

I have had relationships where affection and intimacy were abundant. On the other hand, she has not had many relationships to that degree. I have no problems with being patient. But I feel that our relationship is not heading in the right direction. I have told her that I love her, but the past couple of days I find myself daydreaming about being with someone who will give me the affection that I need.
Another thing that I feel hinders our relationship is our difference in attitude. I am a very optimistic person. When things are bad, I always try to look at the bright side, or bring something positive out of the issue. She has a defeated attitude, and she doubts herself more than she realizes. Whenever I try to lift her spirits, she does not accept it. I know I love her but, I am so afraid that my feelings are going to change for her. Please help me salvage my relationship.

Signed, 'I Need Her Love '


Answer: 

To read my response please visit  http://askdrlove.com/content/i-need-her-love

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Exciting Invitation!

Hi, it's Dr. Love here with a very exciting invitation!

This Wednesday, March 12th  at 12 noon EST, I'll be doing a live Google+  Hangout. We are going to have a fun conversation on Kiss Your Fights Good-bye!

Google Hangouts is like watching a live TV show where you can participate in two ways:

1) If you're on Google+ you can actually join in and be a part of the show! Just click on the link below and click on the YES button on the event invite… you can leave your comments or questions in the comment thread.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/events/crcqmfdg5p2k85ggu7v1uqibot8

OR

2) If you're not on Google+ you can watch, listen and comment live via YouTube!

Here's the link to watch live on YouTube:


3) And you can even watch on YouTube from your mobile phone.
How cool is that!

4) If you can't catch the show live, we'll post the event invite link on Facebook so you can watch later when it's convenient for you.

However, it's more fun live… where you can speak to me live and ask me your questions! 


Hope to hang out with you soon!

Dr. Jamie Turndorf( aka Dr. Love)

Monday, March 10, 2014

Does She Love Me?


I 'm 20 years old and I have been together with my girlfriend for 9 months. Sometimes I get confused and I wonder if she really loves me. Sometimes she really shows a lot of love and sometimes she is really cold. My question is, how or what is the best way to tell if a woman really loves you.

Thank You.


I understand your confusion. There are no hard and fast rules for recognizing whether someone else loves you. Since you say that your girlfriend shows a lot of love, I would say that she probably does love you.

So, if she loves you, why these periods of coolness? I think that she cools because she doesn't know how to deal with her angry feelings toward you. Angry feelings are normal in relationships, but since we haven't been trained to express negative feelings in words, it is common for these feelings to be expressed in actions: 'pulling back 'or 'cooling off, 'etc. Does your girlfriend ever put her angry feelings into words? If she doesn't, then we can assume that when she cools toward you, she is at a loss for how to discuss what's bothering her.


So, next time she cools, ask her, 'I feel a cool wind blowing in my direction. Did I do something to upset you?' When she tells you what you did, listen attentively and thank her for sharing. Regularly inviting her to put her feelings into words, should warm the Siberian winds. Eventually, she will learn how to tell you what is on her mind and avoid the periods of cooling off all together.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Why Me?

I am a 19 year old 1st year college girl and I really need your relationship advice. I have like NO luck with guys at all. I am a really great person, I have never had sex, I am waiting for the right guy I guess. I am pretty attractive, I have been told many times.

I get into relationships with guys and I try not to fall for them too fast because I know that they will end up hurting me. They treat me great and I get hooked, once I do, they dump me! I haven't had a 'serious' relationship for more than 3 months. I was however 'seeing' a guy for almost a year. I just don't know what is wrong with me, I treat the guys I am with great. I am a sweet and caring person.
What am I doing wrong!?! I need to know why the guys I date end up to be jerks. Am I a jerk magnet? 
Well, please help! Thank you!

Why Me?


Yes, you do need relationship advice! My first piece of advice is to tell you that all your relationships sound scripted. Like you know the beginning, middle and end before you turn the first page of a relationship. And, because you are sure of the outcome, you avoid getting attached, because you know that you will end up being hurt and rejected, again.

Whenever you find yourself playing out a script, or caught in a repetitive scenario, there is only one reason why this is happening. The mind is replaying some core scene of childhood that hasn't been healed.  

So, you need to find out what childhood trauma is being replayed for you. It sounds like you are reliving an abandonment theme. Someone made you trust him (or her) then rejected you.
To figure out your specific Old Scar, think back to what hurt most when you when you were young. 

After you identify your Old Scar, next we need to figure out what healing you need. Sometimes the replaying of a past wound is the mind's way of exorcising the bad feelings. By reliving the painful feelings of the past, feelings weaken until they are fully worked through.

Mostly, the mind wishes to replay the past in order to achieve the Happy Ending that I talk so often about. Your Happy Ending as a child would have most likely been that parent sticking around rather than walking out. Your Happy Ending now would be finding a boyfriend who sticks around and doesn't reject or abandon you.

It's important that you is to stop replaying the old abandonment theme in real life, where the stakes are higher and each new abandonment adds insult to injury and drives the wound deeper inside you.
I suggest you take a break from dating for now and enter therapy. In good therapy, you will have the opportunity to replay the abandonment feelings and obtain the Happy Ending with a therapist who doesn't leave you.

When you are healed, you will be acutely aware of the people that you choose to date. You will not only be able to read the clues and pick out abandoners. (You already seem to sense from the beginning that the people you are choosing are abandoners.) but you will also be ready to avoid these people.  

Again, I encourage you to have no relationships until you work this issue out in therapy. Being alone is better than being abandoned again and again.



Thursday, March 6, 2014

Join me Today



How Understanding Creates Longstanding Love

Did you know that happy couples are happy because they know how to enter each other’s emotional realities and see the world from the other’s vantage point?

The technical name for this skill is Partial Identification. What this skill entails is keeping one foot on your own side of the emotional fence while at the same time stepping into your partner’s emotional shoes.

No relationship can thrive without this skill.

Unfortunately, in distressed relationships, partners never Partially Identify with each other; instead, they ram their individual realities down each other’s throats...which leads to ringing each other’s necks!

Because Partial Identification is the master key to heading off fights--and creating a solid bond--you’ll want to tune in to learn how to master this skill.

And, by the way, this skill will improve all your relationships with friends, family, kids and co-workers

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

If you have missed any shows the are available on demand at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ask-dr-love


Tuesday, March 4, 2014

How Understanding Creates Longstanding Love!



Did you know that happy couples are happy because they know how to enter each other’s emotional realities and see the world from the other’s vantage point?

The technical name for this skill is Partial Identification. What this skill entails is keeping one foot on your own side of the emotional fence while at the same time stepping into your partner’s emotional shoes.

No relationship can thrive without this skill.

Unfortunately, in distressed relationships, partners never Partially Identify with each other; instead, they ram their individual realities down each other’s throats...which leads to ringing each other’s necks!
Because Partial Identification is the master key to heading off fights--and creating a solid bond--you’ll want to tune in to learn how to master this skill.

And, by the way, this skill will improve all your relationships with friends, family, kids and co-workers.
I loved hearing from you last week, so don’t hesitate to reach out to me this week. The number to call is: 1-888-GOFORIT. If you’re outside the US, dial the US country code, followed by the numbers: 1-847-470-0937 or 1-847-470-1114.
Join me today at 1pm (EST)


Listen live on Talk Zone Radio! Click here

Dr Jamie Turndrof(aka Dr. Love)

Monday, March 3, 2014

Not Sure How To Read A Shy Guy...


I truly need your advice! There is a very attractive boy in my Poetry class, I recognized him the first day from a party I was at. Where he (according to my friends) was looking at me, but made a strange comment referring to my clothes... I'm not exactly sure what he said, but I do know it wasn't a nice comment. So, first day of class he sat beside me and I could see him looking at me like he recognized me. Second class, he sat as far away from me as he possibly could. For at least 2 weeks he sat away from me but, he would look at me.. My friends started to notice this, that's how much he looked! Anyways, I made it late to class and he was sitting in my seat, so I took the seat beside him. Awkward silence until I introduced myself, he was very nice shook my hand and told me his name. He seemed alittle nervous, but he smiled alot. I thought things went well, next class rolled around. And he sat on the other side of the room again! On break I left to use the washroom, and I ran into him. He just looked at me, didn't smile, didn't say anything, just walked away... :( Finally, my latest class proved to be very interesting. I was there early, and he sat beside me when there were other seats open. On break, I got up to go talk to my friends on the other side of the room, and he was looking at me again. Then the end of class I said I liked his t-shirt and he seemed impressed that I knew the band on his shirt. It looked like he started to blush he went alittle red in the cheeks, then he started to walk away awkwardly. The whole thing just seemed strange yet good.

Signed by: 

Confused :(


Yeah the dude likes you all right. Here’s another instance where partial identification skills come in handy. Put yourself in his shoes and imagine how terrified the poor guy is. He likes you and doesn’t have a clue as to how to go about winning you. He's probably also nursing a big case of fear of rejection, as well!

He needs a helping hand from you.

You’re going to need to make the first move. He needs to be hit over the head with a love hammer in order to know, without a doubt, that you like him.

Give him lots of what I call Green Lights, which include: approachable body language, smiling, facing him, asking interested questions, and saying positive things to him.
If that doesn’t move the mountain, then we’ll have to get a stick of dynamite!

He should be able to move forward if you offer him the training wheels I outlined.



Sunday, February 23, 2014

How To Handle A Sex Life That’s An Ex Life

In this episode of Ask Dr. Love radio, Dr. Jamie Turndorf shares her 10-Step Recipe for Romance

This week on Ask Dr. Love Radio with Dr. Jamie Turndorf, Dr. Turndorf  discusses the commonly asked question: where’s the beef?

In this week’s show, Dr. Turndorf shows how to bring home the bacon in bed!

Even if a couples’ sex life is more like a wet noodle, her  appetite-whetting, 10 step recipe for romance will put a jumpstart in anyone’s pants!

Tune in to Ask Dr. Love radio and find out now to listen your way back to love!

HOW TO LISTEN LIVE: You can tune in to Internet Radio from anywhere
and call in using any kind of phone, including Skype. Use this link to
go to this show's page and listen live:   http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

ARCHIVED RADIO SHOWS. This show will be recorded and can be found on
BlogTalkRadio.com, AskDrLove.com, and iTunes.

STAY INFORMED!  The best way to keep up with immediate news regarding
radio shows, columns, and special product discounts is to Like my
Facebook page at http://facebook.com/askdrlove, or follow me on


Hosted on TalkZone.com, AskDrLove with Dr. Jamie Turndorf, is a live one hour Internet radio program airing at 1pm (EST) every Tuesday afternoon. Listeners can also call-in to the show and ask Dr. Turndorf for advice on any of their personal issues. Archived shows are available on TalkZone.com, BlogTalkradio.com, AskDrLove.com, and iTunes.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf is a popular relationship expert and couples therapist, author, and radio show host known to millions around the world as the creator of AskDrLove.com, the Web's first free relationship advice site originally launched in 1996. AskDrLove.com now offers thousands of advice articles on every imaginable relationship, marriage, dating advice question. You can follow Dr. Turndorf on Facebook and on Twitter @askdrlove.

Dr. Tundorf's advice and methods will bring greater romance and intimacy into your love life, so be sure to tune in or call in to the Ask Dr Love radio show and get help from one of today's top  relationship experts. As Dr. Turndorf says, “Knowledge Is Your Key To Happy Relationships!”

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Untrusting


My beau and I have been together for a year and we don’t trust each other. He owns a night club and has girls all over him and seems to think he is doing nothing wrong. I used to work with him but the women began starting rumors about him sleeping around and I couldn’t handle it. He has gone out to dinner with girls from work if I go out of town, thinking maybe I am doing something wrong on him.

I have been faithful to him, and I want to trust each other. I feel like we are going in circles, I feel like we don’t trust each other and it’s tearing me a- part. It makes me feel insecure and as if I ‘m not what he wants. He’s very insecure. I need desperately to know what we can do. He has ex-girlfriends calling him and won’t tell them to stop calling. He lets his ex-fiance call and not say anything to her, no he doesn’t talk to them. I sit at home and go to school. I believe all he says but all the rumors have me doubting him and what he says. I have heard him lie to his friends and say things that he has said to me, when I know that he is. Any advice????


Untrusting. . . . .

You are being mistreated in this relationship. No wonder you don’t trust your boyfriend. This guy is lying to you and flirting with other women right under your nose. And, you say he behaves worse when you go out of town.

Why is he pushing you away? Your friend obviously suffers from fear of abandonment. And, since he is so sure that you will dump him, he makes sure to ‘dump’ you first by dishing out rejecting behaviors. He is emotionally jumping the gun, and attempting to kill you off before you can kill him. I understand that he is afraid. Only one problem. He doesn’t get in touch with these feelings and talk about them. Instead, he acts out and fights against his fears with very relationship destructive behaviors          (flirting, etc. )

What concerns me most is you, not him. In reading your letter, I didn’t get the feeling that you know you are being mistreated. Is it possible that you don’t recognize mistreatment because feeling unsafe in relationships is normal to you. I suspect that something in your formative years has taught you that love is an insecure and untrusting place. But, love should feel safe. And, you should be with a lover who makes you feel like his number one.

There are no quick fixes for your situation. You need to start individual therapy and find out what part of your history you are trying to heal by dating a man like this. Unless this man does the same type of work, I don’t see the possibility for a happy future together.