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Do you often feel like your partner is putting you down or blaming you...even when he/she swears that’s not the case?

If you said, “yes,” you may be suffering from what’s called Excessive Personalization.

Excessive Personalization is a cognitive distortion that springs out of the narcissism of childhood in which kids believe the world revolves around them. Many people never outgrow the “baby brain.” This combined with being criticized as a child can result in the tendency to self-blame and to hear criticism from our partners even when criticism isn’t being delivered.

And when you feel criticized and put down, the natural reaction is to become angry. Of course, anger begets an angry response. This leads to a downward spiral of fighting that has divorce (or breakup) written all over it.

There is a way out!

Tune in to this week’s show and discover my 7 steps for eliminating Excessive Personalization. When you discover how to train your brain to level with you, rather than level you, you will be able to substitute Excessive Personalization for the ability to see and hear what your partner is actually saying! When this happens, it’s time to sit back and watch your relationship soar to new levels of happiness and joy.

Are You Taking Things Too Personally (And Is This Putting a Hurt on Your Relationship?)

Ask Dr. Love Radio

Tuesday, May 13th, 12 noon (EST) on Google Hangouts and YouTube.

Do you often feel like your partner is putting you down or blaming you...even when he/she swears that’s not the case?

If you said, “yes,” you may be suffering from what’s called Excessive Personalization.

Excessive Personalization is a cognitive distortion that springs out of the narcissism of childhood in which kids believe the world revolves around them. Many people never outgrow the “baby brain.” This combined with being criticized as a child can result in the tendency to self-blame and to hear criticism from our partners even when criticism isn’t being delivered.

And when you feel criticized and put down, the natural reaction is to become angry. Of course, anger begets an angry response. This leads to a downward spiral of fighting that has divorce (or breakup) written all over it.

There is a way out!

Tune in to this week’s show and discover my 7 steps for eliminating Excessive Personalization. When you discover how to train your brain to level with you, rather than level you, you will be able to substitute Excessive Personalization for the ability to see and hear what your partner is actually saying! When this happens, it’s time to sit back and watch your relationship soar to new levels of happiness and joy.

HOW TO LISTEN LIVE:

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ARCHIVED RADIO SHOWS. If you can’t catch the live show, it will be recorded and can be watched at a later time on WebTalkRadio.net and Ask Dr. Love.

STAY INFORMED!  The best way to keep up with immediate news regarding radio shows, columns, and special product discounts is to Like my Facebook page at:

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Use this link to listen to Ask Dr. Love shows on AskDrLove.com NOW: http://bit.ly/10K1VJe

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr Love)

Fridays' Love Quote

“To all, I would say how mistaken they are when they think that they stop falling in love when they grow old, without knowing that they grow old when they stop falling in love.” 

― Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

If You Missed Tuesdays Show Join Me Today

Does Your Sex Life Suck? With Keesha Ewers, Ph.D.

In this episode of Ask Dr. Love Radio, Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love) discusses inhibited or hypoactive female sexual desire…otherwise known as low libido.

The show will focus on the many facets of female sexual desire and how to use "personalized medicine" to uncover the underlying causes of a sagging sex drive...so that you can put the problem permanently to bed!

Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP is a certified functional and Ayurvedic medical practitioner as well as being a certified sexologist, clinical hypnotherapist, enneagram coach, EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapist, Karuna Reiki Master, Angel therapist, yoga teacher, and host of Healthy YOU! Radio program (www.healthyyouradio.com). She has been in the medical field for 29 years. She is a researcher, author, speaker, and teacher with a specialty in women’s sexual desire.

Dr. Keesha’s commitment to empowering individuals to heal themselves has guided her to practice personalized medicine. Her clinic in the Seattle Washington area emphasizes self-awareness, the expansion of consciousness and the development of human potential.

Tune in for an informative and uplifting show!

Join Me Today at 1pm (EST)  on Blog Talk Radio!

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Weekend Love Quote

“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. ” 

― Agatha Christie

Askdrlove.com

Fridays' Love Quote

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche

Fridays'Love Quote

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” 

― Laozi

If You Missed Tuesdays Show...

Join Me Today On Blog Talk Radio at 1pm (EST)

Did you know that a slight edge in your voice can set your guy’s teeth on edge?

It’s true!

Men are highly sensitive to the slightest modulations in a woman’s voice.

Your voice alone can trigger ANS arousal and withdrawal reactions in him.

And you know what happens to your voice when he’s withdrawing from you! When you raise your voice, you’re insuring even more withdrawal behaviors!

Join me to find out how you can use your voice to stop a guy from withdrawing and even inspire love with your voice alone!

Tune in for a fascinating discussion with Jill Mattson, author, artist, musician and widely recognized expert and composer in the emerging field of Sound Healing. Jill has written four books and produced six CD's that combine intricate Sound Healing techniques with her original Award winning musical compositions.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

What is He Thinking??

Hey Doc,

First of all thank you for taking the time to read this question. I will try to keep it brief for you.

Ok so I've been in love with my best friend for awhile now. 6 months ago I told him I liked him and he seemed very sorry about it when he told me he liked someone else. That was kind of a surprise for me at the time, but when looking back on it I could see why. The girl was also my friend and I knew to be a good sport and let it be. Unfortunately for him, she didn't like him the same way. Throughout this whole silly triangle thing, he remained my best friend. Sometimes he would act nicer. But I knew it was just because he was a nice guy and he felt bad for rejecting me. He had told people we were close after all. And we are! We talk and see each other often. 

I got tired of waiting for an impossible ask out from him, so I went out with someone else. He asked me so many questions about the guy like who is it? What's he like? Is that your type? When do I get to meet him? 

I know it could just be possible that he was asking as a friend. It seems to me though like he's a little bit possessive of me? Or do you think maybe he's confused about his feelings? 

I did end up breaking up with the guy as I realized I didn't love him as much as my friend.

I don't know what to think. 

Thank you for your time if you answer 

Signed by: 

Confused

Answer: 

You sound like such a sweetie who deserves to find a guy who adores her.

In answer to your question why he asked about the other guy. There are so many possibilities. He could simply be acting like a protective older brother. But the fact that you wonder if he’s confused about how he feels about you, makes me wonder if you may be picking up on a vibe from him.

What do you have to lose by being honest and asking him. The worst he can say is “no” and confirm that he does just feel like a protective brother.

If he is confused, then you might get him talking about what his problem is!

I wish you luck with him. You’re darling and Dr. Love wants you to be loved back with the same amount of fervor. If it’s not him, then it will be someone else. Hold out for the entire emotional enchilada!

Dr. Jamie Turndorf(aka Dr. Love)

Fridays' Love Quote

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” 

― Joan Crawford

Join Me Today at 1pm (EST)

Are you in a relationship that feels like hell on earth?

You’re not alone.

Millions of people, gay and straight, married and living together find themselves trapped in relationships that are sheer misery.

But, despite the pain, we just can’t bring ourselves to leave.

We may say that we’re staying because of the kids.

Or maybe because we don’t want to be alone--the devil you know is always better than the devil you don’t know!

Beyond all these reasons, hope springs eternal. We fell in love way back when, and somewhere deep down in our hearts we still hope to return to the good old days and rekindle the love that we felt in the beginning when our hearts were young and our love was new.

When something tells you not to give up, it’s important to listen. Some part of you may be telling you there is still reason to hope!

This week, I’ll be introducing you to Larry Bilotta who lived 27 years in a marriage made in hell; but in the 28th year he fell in love with his wife! Now, he’s on the verge of celebrating his 40th wedding anniversary with his wife Marsha.

So don’t give up hope. Tune in to find out how you can rekindle that spark, even if you think the spark plug is dead.

Please Join Me Today at 1pm (EST) on Blog Talk Radio

If you have missed any shows, they are available on demand at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ask-dr-love 

Falling in Love Again with Guest Larry Bilotta

*********************************************************************

                          Ask Dr Love Radio Show

*********************************************************************

Tuesday, April 1st, 1pm (EST) on Talk Zone Radio: http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

Are you in a relationship that feels like hell on earth?

You’re not alone.

Millions of people, gay and straight, married and living together find themselves trapped in relationships that are sheer misery.

But, despite the pain, we just can’t bring ourselves to leave.

We may say that we’re staying because of the kids.

Or maybe because we don’t want to be alone--the devil you know is always better than the devil you don’t know!

Beyond all these reasons, hope springs eternal. We fell in love way back when, and somewhere deep down in our hearts we still hope to return to the good old days and rekindle the love that we felt in the beginning when our hearts were young and our love was new.

When something tells you not to give up, it’s important to listen. Some part of you may be telling you there is still reason to hope!

This week, I’ll be introducing you to Larry Bilotta who lived 27 years in a marriage made in hell;  but in the 28th year he fell in love with his wife!  Now, he’s on the verge of celebrating his 40th wedding anniversary with his wife Marsha.

So don’t give up hope. Tune in to find out how you can rekindle that spark, even if you think the spark plug is dead.

If you’re in the US, you can call me toll free at: 1-888-GOFORIT. If you’re outside the US, dial the US country code, followed by the numbers: 1-847-470-0937 or 1-847-470-1114.

HOW TO LISTEN LIVE: You can tune in to Internet Radio from anywhere

and call in using any kind of phone, including Skype. Use this link to

go to this show's page and listen live:  

ARCHIVED RADIO SHOWS. This show will be recorded and can be found on

BlogTalkRadio.com, AskDrLove.com, and iTunes.

STAY INFORMED!  The best way to keep up with immediate news regarding

radio shows, columns, and special product discounts is to Like my

Facebook page at http://facebook.com/askdrlove, or follow me on

Twitter at: http://twitter.com/askdrlove.

Fridays' Love Quote

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.” 

― Vincent van Gogh

Join Me Today At 1pm (EST)

Loving and Lasting with Bestselling Author Ande Lyons

Join me this today at 1pm (EST) on Blog Talk Radio, for an exciting show with my special guest Ande Lyons, the founder and Chief Passion Curator for BringBackDesire.com where she tastefully and playfully shares tips, tools and resources with women who want more sensuality and sexual excitement in their lives.

As the host of the Loving and Lasting Radio Show and TV show via Google+, Ande helps couples stay tuned in and turned on to each other through her engaging and informative conversations with love experts, relationship experts, and authors.

Ande’s ebook, Loving and Lasting: How to Stay Tuned In and Turned On in Marriage has been a bestseller in the marriage category on Amazon.com. Twenty of Ande’s favorite Love Experts share their best advice on how to have a more meaningful and fulfilling marriage.

An enthusiastic and experienced entrepreneur with an MBA and several successful businesses to her credit, Ande is enjoying a well-balanced life (really!) managing her growing business while raising two wonderful boys with her husband.

Tune in to find out more about how you can bring more passion into your love life!

If you have missed any shows they are available on Demand @ http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ask-dr-love

Dr. Jamie Turndorf(aka Dr. Love)

Lost in California

Dear Dr. Love,

The man who is the love of my life is my high school sweetheart. Unfortunately, after high school I went to college and he went to the navy and we have been apart for almost four years now. During this time we have tried to be together but the strain of the distance was too much. Yet, we cannot let go and up until now we always say we will move on and yet have not.

Well now I am about ready to graduate from college and he is almost done with the navy. Neither of us are in serious relationships and we always had said this was THE year to finally be together. I have expressed my true feelings to him and told him that I am still in love with him .I followed this up with a visit to see him for the weekend. Yet, he cannot commit to me and says he 'cannot jump back in 'I know he still loves me, so why is he saying this? Could he be scared or is this a sign for me to move on? He is also a very indecisive person and prides himself on this? Help, please.

Lost in Ca.

Answer: 

It is your boyfriend who sounds lost, not you. You are correct when you say that he is scared. He went into the Navy, which was his way of avoiding intimacy. You say he is very indecisive and likes this quality in himself, which means he has no motivation to change this part of himself. Now, he has the chance to commit and he says he can't jump back in.

Maybe it's time for you to jump ship while you have the chance. And, don't be surprised if you find him chasing you when you pull back. People who suffer from your boyfriend's problem always come in close when they feel you distancing. But as soon as you respond, they pull back again. If you had said in your letter, he knows he has a problem with intimacy and wants to work on it, I would feel there is hope. But, I didn't hear anything like this in your letter. So, as far as I can see, this guy is a dead-end. And, if you don't want to spend your life chasing a rainbow, you need to seriously consider moving on before it's too late.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Dr. Jamie Turndorf(aka Dr. Love)

How Young is too Young?

I am romantically involved with a much younger woman.

She does not seem to worry about our age difference, but I do. Every thing else being equal, at what point should a couple be really concerned? 20 years difference? 30 years? 40 years? 50 years? Any advice??

Answer: 

Your question reminds me of a bit that I heard on Car Talk.

A man calls in and asks about his girlfriend's car. He then says, 'I'm really not calling about the car. I'm calling to say that my girlfriend is quite a bit younger than I am and I wanted to ask you if you think I should continue seeing her'. One of the Car Talk hosts asks how much younger she is. He says 30 years. The other host says, 'an age difference like that can be fatal', to which the other host replies, 'If she dies, she dies.' But seriously folks. . . .

You need to keep in mind that the things we worry about rarely come to pass. The disasters we brace for that never come. Because, as I've seen, fate always seems to serve a curve ball that we never saw coming. . . . So why live in the future. Why brace for imaginary disasters. You could end up getting hit by a bus tomorrow! So don't focus on rules.

Couples can be miserable and incompatible even though they are the same age, and couples with a great age difference can be very compatible and happy together. What matters is whether you love each other and whether you enjoy your life together. If you do, then why not treasure the gift and enjoy it for as long as you live.

This being said, I also think you need to flesh out what frightens you about the age difference. Are you afraid that you won't be able to hold her as you grow older? Are you worried that you won't be able to satisfy her sexually as you age? Are you fearful that she'll drop you later in life?

It's vital that you figure out the origin of your fear. When you do, you will then be in a position to resolve the real issue that troubles you. As your self-reflection will soon reveal, your concern over the age difference is a smokescreen for a deeper fear. We need to identify that fear and work it through. Then you will feel free to move forward with her and enjoy your life together.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf( aka Dr. Love)

Love Quote for Friday

“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. ” 

Agatha Christie

Are You Committing Bedroom Boo-Boos?

Join me today at 1pm( EST) on Blog Talk Radio.

In this week’s show, I’m pulling back the covers to reveal the 7 most common male and female bedroom blunders and how to fix them fast.

When it comes to female errors (if you’ll pardon the pun), did you know that paying too much attention to his is high on the list of sexual sins? And do you know the other 6 errors that most women make?

As for guys, when it comes to raining on her sexual parade, did you know that the “Get Her Done” approach, or what I refer to as the Sex Olympics is top of the list of male bedroom boo-boos. If you don’t want her to be shouting “boo” at you in bed, tune in to find out the 6 other sexual blunders that most men make.

Join me to find out whether, when it comes to getting laid, you’re laying an egg!

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)

If you miss the show at 1pm you can also watch it on demand.

Does She Love Me?

Dear Dr. Love,

I 'm 20 years old and I have been together with my girlfriend for 9 months. Sometimes I get confused and I wonder if she really loves me. Sometimes she really shows a lot of love and sometimes she is really cold. My question is, how or what is the best way to tell if a woman really loves you.

Thank You.

Answer: 

I understand your confusion. There are no hard and fast rules for recognizing whether someone else loves you. Since you say that your girlfriend shows a lot of love, I would say that she probably does love you.

So, if she loves you, why these periods of coolness? I think that she cools because she doesn't know how to deal with her angry feelings toward you. Angry feelings are normal in relationships, but since we haven't been trained to express negative feelings in words, it is common for these feelings to be expressed in actions: 'pulling back 'or 'cooling off, 'etc. Does your girlfriend ever put her angry feelings into words? If she doesn't, then we can assume that when she cools toward you, she is at a loss for how to discuss what's bothering her.

So, next time she cools, ask her, 'I feel a cool wind blowing in my direction. Did I do something to upset you?' When she tells you what you did, listen attentively and thank her for sharing. Regularly inviting her to put her feelings into words, should warm the Siberian winds. Eventually, she will learn how to tell you what is on her mind and avoid the periods of cooling off all together.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)