Dateless

Dear Dr. Love:

 I feel like I am different than many people on your column, because I rarely can get dates. I am somewhat picky but often like several people in one year.

I am 37 and have spent most of the last 15 years alone. I don't know what's wrong, I think I am fairly pretty, definitely cute, a little overweight. I know also that in my childhood my father left for a very pretty woman, and my mom and I were left alone.

Since she looked like me, and I thought the other woman was prettier, and since my father was very handsome, I felt that you had to be very pretty to get a date. However, I am ready to change this attitude and I am tired of being alone.

Any help? Thanks.  

Signed by: 

Dateless

Answer: 

Dear Dateless You are very insightful and actually have your problem figured out. You have a mindset that says pretty women get the guy. Your own history has proven that to be so. And, since you never felt as pretty as the girl who stole your daddy's heart, you have it figured that you aren't worthy of finding your Mr. Right, let alone a date.

The question is how do you break free of this cycle?

You really need to reprogram your mind. There are many ways to do this. You can do cognitive therapy. You can do hypnosis, which is designed to literally alter your neuro associations.

You can also try self-affirmations, which is like self-hypnosis. With self-affirmations you are actually reprogramming your mind all by yourself. To do this you reiterate positive statements to yourself. The idea is to replace your current views with healthier ones.

Note that all affirmations are stated as 'done deals' meaning you don't talk about what you want to have in the future, but rather speak as though what you desire has already occurred. For example you might say: I am swamped with dates.

You might also create affirmations that counteract your belief that only knock-outs get dates. This affirmation might sound like, 'I am attractive enough to interest many different men.' Post your affirmations on the fridge and on the bathroom mirror, and say them out loud in the morning, throughout the day, and before bedtime. Then, sit back and start numbering your dates.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

What is He Thinking??

Hey Doc,

First of all thank you for taking the time to read this question. I will try to keep it brief for you.

Ok so I've been in love with my best friend for awhile now. 6 months ago I told him I liked him and he seemed very sorry about it when he told me he liked someone else. That was kind of a surprise for me at the time, but when looking back on it I could see why. The girl was also my friend and I knew to be a good sport and let it be. Unfortunately for him, she didn't like him the same way. Throughout this whole silly triangle thing, he remained my best friend. Sometimes he would act nicer. But I knew it was just because he was a nice guy and he felt bad for rejecting me. He had told people we were close after all. And we are! We talk and see each other often. 

I got tired of waiting for an impossible ask out from him, so I went out with someone else. He asked me so many questions about the guy like who is it? What's he like? Is that your type? When do I get to meet him? 

I know it could just be possible that he was asking as a friend. It seems to me though like he's a little bit possessive of me? Or do you think maybe he's confused about his feelings? 

I did end up breaking up with the guy as I realized I didn't love him as much as my friend.

I don't know what to think. 

Thank you for your time if you answer 

Signed by: 

Confused

Answer: 

You sound like such a sweetie who deserves to find a guy who adores her.

In answer to your question why he asked about the other guy. There are so many possibilities. He could simply be acting like a protective older brother. But the fact that you wonder if he’s confused about how he feels about you, makes me wonder if you may be picking up on a vibe from him.

What do you have to lose by being honest and asking him. The worst he can say is “no” and confirm that he does just feel like a protective brother.

If he is confused, then you might get him talking about what his problem is!

I wish you luck with him. You’re darling and Dr. Love wants you to be loved back with the same amount of fervor. If it’s not him, then it will be someone else. Hold out for the entire emotional enchilada!

Dr. Jamie Turndorf(aka Dr. Love)

Emotional Foot IN Mouth Disease!

Paula Deen, like millions of people, is suffering from what Dr. Turndorf calls “Emotional Foot IN Mouth Disease!” a worldwide epidemic that’s characterized by speaking without thinking and uttering words that leave behind a wake of damage.

Could you or someone close to you be suffering from the same problem?

To answer this question, ask yourself:

Is my relationship hanging in the balance because of what I or someone else has said in the heat of the moment?

Has my mouth actually caused a relationship to end?

And, if you play back a transcript of what you’ve said, do you want to cringe?   

Tune in to hear Dr. Turndorf’s proven technique for controlling one’s temper and tongue.  

Hosted on TalkZone, AskDrLove with Dr. Jamie Turndorf, is a live one hour Internet radio program airing at 1pm (EST) Tuesday afternoon.

Listeners can also call-in to the show and ask Dr. Turndorf for advice on any of their personal issues.

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Woman Who is Being Bossed Around By Her Family

Dr. Turndorf helps out a 37 year-old divorced woman (with a 9 year old son) who wants to get back with her ex after realizing her own mistakes in the relationship. Meanwhile, her parents are bullying her with the threat of cutting her out of their lives if she goes back with her husband.

http://askdrlove.com/content/woman-who-being-bossed-around-her-family