Relationship Talk: ask_dr_love

Showing posts with label ask_dr_love_com. Show all posts

Monday, January 6, 2014

In Love But Out of Words

I have this crush on this guy I like. I've had a crush on him for several weeks now. What my question is, is how do I tell him that I'm in love with him? My feelings are so strong for him. I just need a way to tell him. Please help me solve this!

Answer:

I don't know if you are at a true loss of words, or whether you are afraid to say what's on your mind, for fear of rejection. If you are simply at a loss for words, then I would say exactly how you feel, minus the four letter word, love.

I'm not saying that your feelings of love are wrong, but, if you voice them on the first round, you could scare the guy away. So, instead, you could say something positive or complimentary to the guy you like. Study his good features and choose one of the features that you like most about him. For example, you might say, 'I wanted to tell you how much I admire your kindness or intelligence, and would like to get to know you better. '

By saying that you are interested in deepening the relationship, you kill two birds with one stone: First, you don't overwhelm the guy with love declarations, which may seem premature since you haven't even started dating! In which case, he could run, as I said already. But, also when you stick your emotional toe in the water, rather than diving in head first, you protect yourself from outright rejection.

So, let this relationship percolate like fine coffee. Begin a friendship, then let that deepen into more.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)

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Sunday, December 29, 2013

Totally Lost

Dear Dr. Love,

I have been going out this my boyfriend for over a year and a half. I do love him with all of my heart. I am in my second year of college. I moved away from him to I could attend the college that I have always wanted to. But since I have moved away, I have found someone else that I also want to be with.

The long distance relationship is really taking it's toll on me and I don't know what to do about this situation. My boyfriend knows that I am friends with this other guy but he doesn't know that I want to be with him. I have only been in two relationships and I feel that I need to have some more experiences before I decide to get married. I don't know how to tell my boyfriend that I need sometime to figure things out and decide what would be best for me. Can you help me at all?

Totally Lost

Answer:

You asked me to help you find the right words to tell your boyfriend that you need some time. But, in your letter to me, you expressed your wish for some breathing room so beautifully that it I don't think that you need help on 'how to tell 'your boyfriend about your need for space.

I think that your perceived 'block 'for the right words covers a deeper conflict: I don't think you're 100% sure that you want to tell your boyfriend that you need time out. What might be holding you back? Are you are afraid to hurt him? Are you afraid that your boyfriend may be Mr. Right and that, if you discover that you are correct after having taken a time out, he may not be willing to take you back?

Try to put your finger on your emotional pulse and identify what the real conflict is. Once you do, it will be easier for you to move forward and make the right choice for you. Good luck.

Dr Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr Love)

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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Wishing you a very...

Merry Christmas!

Feliz Navidad!

Joyeux Noel!

Nadolig Llawen!

Buone Feste Natalizie!

Froehliche Weihnachten und ein glueckliches Neues Jahr!

Feliz Natal!

Gledelig Jul !

Kala Christouyenna !

Happy Christmas!

Maligayang Pasko!

Selamat Hari Natal !

Wishing you a day filled with LOVE,

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Monday, December 16, 2013

Helplessly in Love with a Co-Worker

Dear Dr. Love,

I am a 25 year old single female (now 5 months free from a relationship) and have been utterly IN LOVE with a male co-worker of mine for almost a year. We are both teachers. We are both single and 1 year apart. I tried to forget about him over the summer but it didn't work. All I ever think about is him. Everything about us seem to match up perfectly except for the fact that he has no idea of my feelings for him and I could never come out and admit them; most of the time when we speak we look away from each other and I start to babble or stutter or fall or something just as clumsy.

All of our other co-workers and even students have said that we would make the 'perfect' couple. I don't know what to do. Could my dream to be with him ever become a reality? . Please Help me.

Signed,

Helplessly in love with a co-worker

Answer:

I am wondering why you tried to forget about this man who sounds just right for you. Were you afraid that he would never like you, and, so, you tried to convince yourself to forget him. Your confidence doesn't seem as a high as it deserves to be. You don't seem to realize how attractive and desirable you are. How do I know? It's pretty obvious to that your dream lover likes you too. (You said that he looks away from you when you talk with each other. You are so caught up with your own feelings that you didn't realize that he has a crush on you. In fact, he is shy like you are and afraid to be turned down by you! He hides his face because he is afraid that you will read his attraction for you and reject him!)

So, what we have are two shy people who are terrified to be rejected. I know you said that you could never admit your interest. Why not? What's the worst that could happen? That he would tell you that he just wants to be friends (I highly doubt it. ) But, even if he did say that he wasn't interested in more, you won't die, I promise you that. You might feel embarrassed, but you won't die.

You might also try solo rehearsals. Imagine yourself telling him that you are interested in deepening the relationship and imagine him refusing. If you practice in this way, the feeling of terror should weaken after several 'Dr. runs. ' Then, you should be more able to take a chance. Remember, the sayings: 'The only people who fail are those who don't try. . . And, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

If after all the above steps, you still feel too afraid to face him, you could send him a note telling him how you feel. Promise me that you will do something.

Dr. Jamie Turdorf ( aka Dr. Love)

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Saturday, December 14, 2013

Afraid to Ask Her Out

Hello Dr. Love,

I am a 16 year old male, and I have had my eye on this beautiful, charming girl (or should I say young woman) for a long time. I have been debating whether or not I should ask her out. I always tell myself to wait and see if she shows anything to even hint that she likes me, and thee are many things she does that could be signs that she does. I just am really shy, and I do not think that I am good enough for her. I need advice on what I should do.

Thanks

Answer:

You sound absolutely adorable. Your problem isn't that you are shy (many people are) it's that your self-esteem isn't where it should be (I don't think I'm good enough for her). How come you don't you know how great you are? Just from reading your question, I saw special qualities in you--honesty, openness, ability to care. You need to work on improving your self-image (go to my website

and type in the search words: shy, self-esteem and scared to make the first move).

Begin a conversation by asking her questions about herself (who doesn't like talking about him or herself), show that you are interested in what is interesting to her. . . in short, be a friend. The best love affairs and happiest marriages are founded on solid friendships. Even though you feel unworthy of her, and afraid of rejection, how much worse will you feel if you don't take a chance? Keep in mind that if you ease in through the friendship door, you will be protecting yourself from humiliation.

Lead with positive statements about her start a friendship. What's the worst that can happen? She'll say she doesn't want to be your friend. Not likely. The girl would have to be nuts to turn away a man that is demonstrates such interest and devotion. After you become friends, then you can discuss your feelings about wanting more from the relationship. All you need is the nerve to override your fears.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aks Dr. Love)

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Monday, October 14, 2013

Spotting Online Dating Fakes, Freaks and Frauds

If you’ve been tuning in to my show for a while, you know that my husband died of a bee sting while we were vacationing in Italy. After a couple years, and much nudging from friends, I gave Internet dating a whirl! As a result, I personally came into contact with every flavor of online dating fakes, freaks and frauds.

Each year, millions of educated and successful professional men and women are “taken.” The romance scams perpetrated against widows alone comprise a multi-million dollar industry.

Tune in and discover my foolproof method for identifying Emotional Predators and financial scammers before you get hurt emotionally and/or financially.

The Ask Dr. Love Radio Show Airs Tuesday, October 15th, 1pm EST on Talk Zone Radio.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

An Intimate Peek At Female Frigidity, With Guest Author Cris Mazza

Tuesday Oct 8th, 1pm( EST) on Talk Zone Radio: http://bit.ly/NLSP5U

Join me this week for a discussion with Cris Mazza, author of Something Wrong with Her.

Cris’ story is a love story that describes her reconnection with her childhood love, the man who never stopped loving her, frigidity and all.

Join me for what promises to be a great show.http://askdrlove.com/radio-shows/intimate-look-sexual-frigidility-author-cris-mazza

Monday, July 1, 2013

Emotional Foot IN Mouth Disease!

Paula Deen, like millions of people, is suffering from what Dr. Turndorf calls “Emotional Foot IN Mouth Disease!” a worldwide epidemic that’s characterized by speaking without thinking and uttering words that leave behind a wake of damage.

Could you or someone close to you be suffering from the same problem?

To answer this question, ask yourself:

Is my relationship hanging in the balance because of what I or someone else has said in the heat of the moment?

Has my mouth actually caused a relationship to end?

And, if you play back a transcript of what you’ve said, do you want to cringe?

Tune in to hear Dr. Turndorf’s proven technique for controlling one’s temper and tongue.

Hosted on TalkZone, AskDrLove with Dr. Jamie Turndorf, is a live one hour Internet radio program airing at 1pm (EST) Tuesday afternoon.

Listeners can also call-in to the show and ask Dr. Turndorf for advice on any of their personal issues.

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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Paula Deen is Suffering From the Worldwide Epidemic of Foot IN Mouth Disease! Are You Too?

Have you ever felt like your tongue is your own worst enemy?

Well, you’re not alone.

By now you’ve certainly heard about Paula Deen’s recent “Open Mouth, Insert Foot” incident.

Our world, our relationships and our lives are crumbling under the weight of a worldwide epidemic of verbal bashing. As a worldwide community, we all need to learn how to speak in kinder and gentler ways.

In this week's show, I’m going to share my 5-step method for training yourself to keep a civil tongue in your mouth, even when you’re spitting mad.

Tune in to hear my proven 5-step technique for controlling your temper and your tongue. (more)

http://www.freepressindex.com/paula-deen-is-suffering-from-emotional-foot-in-mouth-disease-ending-the-worldwide-epidemic-of-verbal-bashing-463768.html

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