In Love But Out of Words

Dear Dr. Love,

I have this crush on this guy I like. I've had a crush on him for several weeks now. What my question is, is how do I tell him that I'm in love with him? My feelings are so strong for him. I just need a way to tell him. Please help me solve this!

Answer: 

I don't know if you are at a true loss of words, or whether you are afraid to say what's on your mind, for fear of rejection. If you are simply at a loss for words, then I would say exactly how you feel, minus the four letter word, love.

I'm not saying that your feelings of love are wrong, but, if you voice them on the first round, you could scare the guy away. So, instead, you could say something positive or complimentary to the guy you like. Study his good features and choose one of the features that you like most about him. For example, you might say, 'I wanted to tell you how much I admire your kindness or intelligence, and would like to get to know you better. '

By saying that you are interested in deepening the relationship, you kill two birds with one stone: First, you don't overwhelm the guy with love declarations, which may seem premature since you haven't even started dating! In which case, he could run, as I said already. But, also when you stick your emotional toe in the water, rather than diving in head first, you protect yourself from outright rejection.

So, let this relationship percolate like fine coffee. Begin a friendship, then let that deepen into more. 

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)

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Totally Lost

Dear Dr. Love,

I have been going out this my boyfriend for over a year and a half. I do love him with all of my heart. I am in my second year of college. I moved away from him to I could attend the college that I have always wanted to. But since I have moved away, I have found someone else that I also want to be with.

The long distance relationship is really taking it's toll on me and I don't know what to do about this situation. My boyfriend knows that I am friends with this other guy but he doesn't know that I want to be with him. I have only been in two relationships and I feel that I need to have some more experiences before I decide to get married. I don't know how to tell my boyfriend that I need sometime to figure things out and decide what would be best for me. Can you help me at all?

Totally Lost

Answer: 

You asked me to help you find the right words to tell your boyfriend that you need some time. But, in your letter to me, you expressed your wish for some breathing room so beautifully that it I don't think that you need help on 'how to tell 'your boyfriend about your need for space.

I think that your perceived 'block 'for the right words covers a deeper conflict: I don't think you're 100% sure that you want to tell your boyfriend that you need time out. What might be holding you back? Are you are afraid to hurt him? Are you afraid that your boyfriend may be Mr. Right and that, if you discover that you are correct after having taken a time out, he may not be willing to take you back?

Try to put your finger on your emotional pulse and identify what the real conflict is. Once you do, it will be easier for you to move forward and make the right choice for you. Good luck.

Dr Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr Love)

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Not Sure How to Read a Shy Guy

Relationship expert Dr. Jamie Turndorf helps a woman figure out how to decipher the mixed signals that a guy in her poetry class in sending her. AskDrLove.com is the Web's premier free relationship advice site since 1996. Search thousands of relationship, marriage, dating, and sex advice articles and videos on every imaginable problem, or Ask Dr. Love your own question!

http://askdrlove.com/drlove-advice/not-sure-how-read-shy-guy

Am I Overreacting?

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love) helps a woman who discovered that her boyfriend has been texting his ex, and she shares effective strategies for handling this issue without revealing that she violated his privacy. AskDrLove.com is the Web's premier relationship advice site since 1996, offering 1000's of free articles on every imaginable relationship, dating, and sex advice issue.

http://askdrlove.com/drlove-advice/am-i-over-reacting

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

Research shows that one of the most important features of successful relationships is the depth of the friendship. Do you know your partner's inner world? Take this quiz to find out!

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-Well-Do-You-Know-Your-Partner_1