Relationship Talk: cheating

Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Why My Head and Heart Do Not Match

I briefly became involved with a married man. Before we were involved, he told me that he was leaving his (pregnant) wife. He also pursued me like there was no tomorrow.

I became convinced, finally, that it was safe to proceed. But soon, I noticed some confusing messages from him about leaving his marriage, and as a result, I ended our relationship immediately.

While I know I did the right thing to take care of myself, why does it feel so bad? It's like I have an argument going on inside my head all the time about this.

And, unbelievably, he feels that I used him and I even feel guilty about that! Just curious why my head and heart do not match.

Thanks Doc.

Signed by:

curious

Answer:

If I understand your question, you are experiencing an internal conflict. Conflict arises when different parts of the self are at war with each other.

To help you understand what's going on, I'd like you to imagine your brain or psyche as a three-part puzzle. One part of your psyche is the emotional or id part. This part of the psyche is only interested in gratification, in satisfying urges and going after immediate gratification. This part of your psyche wanted to stay with this man and obtain pleasure through the connection.

The second part of your psyche is your superego or conscience. This part of your brain is berating you with guilt over your having dropped him. The third part of your psyche is your ego or rational self. Your decision to break up with this man was an ego driven decision and based upon a clear decision to take care of yourself and do what's best for you. Just so you know, all decisions should come from the ego, as opposed to the id or superego.

So, pat yourself on the back for having made a healthy choice for yourself. Also, realize that no matter how healthy your choice is this by no means cancels out the thoughts and feelings that emanate from the other parts of your psyche. Your id screams, 'what about me?' and your superego shouts, 'you were wrong to drop him. '

Accepting the fact that we humans are not of one 'mind' and knowing that the various parts of ourselves rarely line up should be a comfort to you. Accept your torn feelings. They are normal.

There is one thing that does concern me, however and that is how harsh your conscience seems to be. It's one thing for the selfish id to throw a tantrum when it isn't gratified--that 's to be expected--but it's quite another thing to berate yourself.

You would be wise to figure out why your conscience is so harsh. Yes, I know that this man is laying a guilt trip on you, but he can't send you on any trip unless you're willing to pack your own bags and go along for the ride.

So, find out why you're so hard on yourself. Was your mom or dad hard on you? Were they hard on themselves and did you incorporate their own traits? Is your self-attack the result of misdirected anger?

Understanding where your self-attack comes from is the first step to softening this overly harsh part of your psyche.

Dr. Jamie Turmdorf (aka Dr. Love)

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Insecure With Good Reason

Dear Dr. Love,

I live with my boyfriend. He is in Sales. Which means he is a busy man. He got relocated for work and we both had to move to a state that we were not happy with. Things were fine for a while but each of us carried a lot of stress because of both work and changes in living, money.

It has been a couple of months and he has decided to start staying overnight. (He never did before as OFTEN). He never tells me where he is going what he is doing etc. . . Last Night he left for the night (on business) well number 1: he calls at midnight. number 2: I try to page him right after we hang up and he doesn't call back. number 3: I wake up in the morning and try it again. . . . . . . . no response. Now, he always has his pager on him. And don't you think he should tell me what hotel etc. . . ???? I mean what if I was in trouble.

I guess what I 'm worried about is: is he cheating on me??? Please help me it's effecting me day & day. Am I being insecure??? He comes home tonight: what should I do?? I really love this man. Thanks.

Answer:

You have every reason to worry. Your boyfriend's behavior is suspicious. You need to ask him straight out if he is seeing other women. And, if he says, 'no, 'I wouldn't be so quick to believe him since you suspect that he lies.

Next, you need to find out why you are drawn to a lover who leaves you feeling this insecure. I suspect that in your early life, a mom or a dad abandoned you or you watched one of your parents being abandoned over and over. In either case, you got the message that being in love means trembling in fear of abandonment. It feels to me like some unfinished business is playing out here. You need to find out what this is. Unless you do, this boyfriend will always leave you standing by the phone.

And, if you end this relationship, you will find another boyfriend who leaves you feeling just as insecure. So, for your own sake, figure out what part of your childhood is being replayed here. When you figure it out, let me know and we can move to the next step in your healing. Keep in touch with me and let me know what you have discovered.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf(aka Dr. Love)

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Seven Year Itch After Only Two Years

Dr. Love,

I have a pretty serious problem, and am not really sure where to go with it. I've been married for 2 years, and not really sure I've done the right thing. I am feeling so unfulfilled (in general, but sexually also), but it's not because he doesn't try. He's actually a great guy, and a good husband. There's not much fighting, and certainly no abuse. I just all of a sudden feel like there are so many things I want to do - and can't.

I know marriage isn't all roses, but I don't know how much I am supposed to be feeling like this. I am considered attractive by others, and sometimes feel that I'd like to act on some of the opportunities that present themselves to me. I am driving myself nuts trying to figure this out. I feel really selfish, and I know that most people would offer ways for me to make the marriage better. I tend to not really want that kind of advice. Please help if you can. Any attempt would be greatly appreciated. I'm so confused and frustrated.

PS He knows nothing about my feeling this way.

Answer:

Every married person, who is honest, has periods in which he or she feels restless, bored, and even dreams of taking a lover. Such feelings are not selfish or wrong. But, here's the catch...Acting on the opportunities that present themselves to you is the wrong way to go. Especially if you want to keep the marriage. It sounds like you don't want to explore what is missing in your marriage. Likewise, you don't seem interested in finding out how you could bring more excitement and variety into your relationship. I have the impression that you are gearing up to cheat on your mate, and this is why I think you feel guilty and selfish. I am not saying that you should deny your desires. But, I am saying that it would not be proper for you to act on your desires. You must honor your feelings and at the same time behave honorably toward your mate. How can this be done. You have to stop hiding your feelings from him. Come clean and work on this relationship or get out. Staying in the relationship and cheating behind his back is not a decent thing to do to him, and sooner or later, you will feel awful about yourself for doing it. When you say that you don't want to hear advice on how to mend the marriage, I think you are saying that you would rather gratify your desires to explore outside the marriage, which you see as pure fun, instead of face the issues in the marriage, which is pure work. Realize that going after the pure fun will cause you more pain and work down the road than simply facing the music and working things out with your hubby. At this point you must decide whether you see enough positives in your husband and your marriage to warrant your doing the work necessary to bring the relationship back to life. If you can't find enough reason to want to work for this relationship, then have the decency to be honest with your husband and leave the relationship with him before seeing other men.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Jealous Pair

Dear Dr. Love:

I have been dating a girl for about a year and a half. I love her with all my heart. I am in my first year of College and she is a senior in high school. She is a very flirtatious person, and I was getting jealous of nothing, to the point we couldn't carry on real conversations because we were both constantly wondering what was going on behind each others back.

A few weeks ago, we decided the best thing would be for us to see other people on the side, without changing anything between the two of us. She still claims to love me as much as she always has, but it doesn't seem like that could be possible, seeing as she is with two guys other than me. Granted they aren't as serious as she and I, but still.

I 'm not seeing anyone, but I did cheat on her before we set up this deal and never told her. I want to save what we have, because I think it's really worth it.

I have a couple of questions. One, is seeing other people more destructive than helpful. Two, is it possible she does love me as much as she says? And finally, how can I keep us together?

Signed: Jealous Pair.

Answer:

You asked me three questions. Before I answer any of them, we have to talk.

First of all, both you and your girlfriend are drowning in jealousy--and it sounds like with good reason. She fears that something is going on behind her back, and it turns out you cheated on her even before you set up the 'New Deal. 'So, she had reasons to mistrust.

You were jealous of her constant flirting. And, you had reasons to mistrust her because now she is seeing two other guys. There are too many unknown variables here.

For starters: why are you both flirting and cheating? Both of you seem terrified of becoming close with another person. Behind the flirting and cheating often lies the fear of closeness; and the behind the fear of closeness often lurks the fear of abandonment. (If I let you close to me and you dump me, I'll be destroyed. )

Both of you seem be be trying to get a jump on the storm: I'll cheat on her before she cheats on me. I'll flirt with and date other guys before he has a chance to dump me. Both of you decided to open the relationship to other people. What were you hoping to solve by doing this? By diluting the relationship in this way, it feels like you are both escaping the real issue.

Why are you both so terrified and mistrustful of love? To answer this question, you need to do some emotional homework and find out where these insecurities originate. Both of you have been hurt and don't trust love. You need to figure out where these hurts stem from and talk about these fears with each other.

In answer to your first question, can your girlfriend truly love you, yes she can love you, but if you don't deal with these fears of closeness, the love may become buried by unresolved emotional issues.

Secondly, in answer to the question, is seeing other people more destructive than helpful, if you both are dating others in order to avoid intimacy, I think you begin to see that by doing so you are not solving the real issues. Also, by dating other people, there is the risk that the abandonment fears and jealousy reactions will become more intense.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf(aka Dr. Love)

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Hopeless

Dear Dr. Love,

I used to go out with this guy 5 years ago, I have been in love with him for about 6 years now. About 6 months ago we started talking and kind of seeing one another however he is engaged and he tells me he really likes me and wants to have sexual relations, and oral sex. He says he is afraid that his fiancee will find out if he does these things. . I am so much in love with him I would do anything for him. . . Please help me!!!!!

Hopeless

Answer:

So, let's see if I get this straight. This man who is engaged to another woman wants you to give him oral sex. He wants you to do it on the sly so that he doesn't jeopardize his relationship with his fiancee. What's he offering you in return? Lockjaw!!! This man proposes to treat you like a whore. . . or worse. He's not even paying to use you.

At this point, I think you need to find out why you are so in love with someone who degrades you. I can give you a hint as to why I think you are so drawn this man. If you read over your letter, you will see that you sound desperate to have him. Your urgent tone gives me a clue that your mind is locked in a repetition compulsion (the urge to recreate a traumatic aspect of childhood, so that it can work for a happier ending). What traumatic aspect of your childhood is being recreated here? I suspect that you felt you had to chase your dad (or mom) for love and attention, and that despite your efforts, you felt used and not loved back.

By giving this man what he wants, you are sending out the message: Use me, buddy. I don't respect myself, so you don't have to either. You will never win this man by allowing yourself to be used. I repeat, he will never respect you or love you, if you go through with your plan.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf ( aka Dr. Love)

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Attracted to a Much Older Woman

Dear Dr. Love,

I have an issue of being very sexually and emotionally attracted to the woman 20 + years beyond my age.. This one woman is quite cute, smart and to be honest has an incredible body with just about the largest bust I have ever laid eyes on. She is so sexy and I really like her. However, I also love my wife. What should I do? I fantasize about this woman all the time and develop an erection just thinking about her.

Signed by:

Frustrated

Answer:

You need some serious relationship advice! So here it comes.

Ever heard the saying: “keep it in your pants?”

The reason I'm quoting this saying to you is because it doesn't matter that you’re sexually and emotionally attracted to this other woman. A man’s body is wired to be attracted to all kinds of women. So what?

The bottom line here is you love your wife and you made a vow to her.

The fantasies you are engaging in are a form of emotional infidelity. Even though you haven’t slept with this other woman, you are emotionally cheating on your wife. If you want to keep the marriage, it’s time to stop indulging yourself in fantasies about this other woman. It’s just self-indulgence and very destructive for you, your wife and your marriage.

My advice is for you to apply your creativity to constructing a more fun and fantasy filled relationship and sex life with your wife.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Man that Cheated and Wants His Wife Back

Dr. Love,

I have recently cheated on my wife and the guilt built up so much that I couldn't take it any more so I confessed to my wife. She was hurt real bad and I hurt just as bad for doing this to her, but now I need to know how do I start the healing process and get the love we had back. It all started with this computer, we started spending all our time on it and not having any family time. I was married but feeling lonely, so the one night stand happened and I couldn't live with it anymore. But now how do I save this marriage?

Thanks from an Airborne Ranger US Army

Answer:

I commend you for your honesty and think your wife is lucky to have a husband that wants to work on saving the marriage. The best way to begin the healing process is to talk with each other. Allow your wife to share all her feelings with you, positive and negative. Listen and reflect back what you have heard, to show that you have understood. Never, under any circumstances, fall prey to the temptation to justify or defend yourself, just listen and understand.

After the venom has been drained-off, then both of you need to begin honest discussions about what went wrong in the marriage. These discussions shouldn't be a blame game (you did this to me, well you did that to me). In order for these talks to be productive, you both need to engage in honest self-examination and figure out how each of you contributed to the erosion of the marriage.

For example, you spent too much time on the computer, became disconnected from her and had an affair. But, what wasn't working for you in the relationship? What caused you to bury yourself in the computer in the first place? The key here is not to sound like you are pointing fingers at the other. (Well, I wouldn't have buried my face in the computer if you hadn't done x, y, or z. )

I hope you get my point. After you both have come up with honest answers about what was missing in the relationship, then work on correcting these issues and problems. My best wishes to you. If you need further help in healing the relationship, please let me know. You are a wonderful man and an inspiration for all the men out there who have slipped and want to come back.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Seeking Greener Pastures

Imagine a couple in a long term, committed relationship. Imagine one of the parties subscribes to a singles dating site - no public profile is involved, he or she, just likes to look at what's out there. The 'looker' argues it is just amusement. The other party says it is disrespectful and suggestive that perhaps the 'looker' is seeking greener pastures. What would your advice be?

Answer:

It is common knowledge that men are "lookers" by nature and that male sexuality is fueled by visual stimuli. At the same time, men are wired for variety rather than monogamy. This explains why men throughout the ages have been drawn to visual pornography. Porn satisfies the urge for variety while permitting a man to remain faithful.

With the advent of online dating, an element of reality has now been introduced into the equation. When a man looks at photos on these dating sites, he's playing with fire. These aren't pictures of fantasy women who will always remain strangers. On the contrary, men and women pictured on dating sites can become real with the click of a button. A date can be scheduled at a moment's notice.

This is why you are feeling threatened by your partner's actions. He or she is playing with fire and you know it.

Your partner is looking at real people, not anonymous photos.

The act is a nonverbal communication to you. The message feels hostile and provocative. It's as if the sword is dangling above your head, and at any moment your neck may roll.

Your partner isn't taking responsibility for his/her actions. In fact, his actions are a passive, indirect expression of anger toward you. It feels like you are getting set up. If you don't object, your days are numbered. If you do object and demand that he/she get real with you, you are being set up as the "crazy, over-reactive nut," which you aren't.

I recommend your putting his/her foot to the fire and calling him/her on what's going on. If this relationship is going to survive, your partner needs to step up and put his/her true feelings into words. You want his/her communication translated into a message you can understand.

You need to ask him/her what this behavior telling you about how he feels toward you and about the relationship? Is he/she trying to tell you that you aren't meeting his/her needs? Does he/she want you to feel jealous? Does he/she want you to fight for him/her? Does he/she not feel that you care enough, and is this a ploy to get you to prove how much he/she means to you?

When he/she denies that there's anything wrong, you must have the courage to stay the course and continue to point out the elephant in the room, the truth that is painfully obvious: that he/she is inducing you to fear that an affair is imminent and he/she is doing this for a reason.

A fight will likely ensue, which is fine. Better to have your partner's anger on the table rather than expressed in this indirect and very relationship destructive way.

Once the issue is on the table then you can take the necessary steps to repair what is wrong in the relationship. I recommend that you immediately read my book Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First): A Step-By-Step Guide for Resolving Relationship Conflict, which will guide you on resolving the real issue that your discussion uncovers.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

What's "Cheating" in the Digital Age?

Technology and social media has changed the way people cheat. In the past, if a person wanted to cheat, he/ she would actively have to go out looking for it. Now, with the click of a mouse, with little effort, you can find a playmate in a virtual chat room. But these virtual encounters are real. The people are real. Virtual flings and flirtations can easily become a prelude to an actual relationship.

Cheating is the same thing it always was. If you're having a flirtation or a verbal sexual engagement with someone who isn’t your partner, you are still going into action. Because you haven’t actually touched someone doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

A person will know whether the virtual behavior has unacceptable, just by how his/her companion reacts. If the companion is upset by the behavior a line has bee crossed.

Cheating, infidelity, and even virtual infidelity are generally symptoms of an ailing relationship. Whenever there’s an infidelity, virtual or actual, there is a root cause. In some cases, the cause is due to a problem in the primary relationship.

To learn more about this listen to my Ask Dr. Love Radio Show; Why Anthony Weiner Can’t Keep His Weiner in His Pants.

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Monday, November 11, 2013

Woman Who Wonders if Cybersex is Cheating

Today I am going to share with you a letter I received at my Ask Dr Love Advice Column.

I am so confused. My boyfriend of 4 years has lied to me about an internet relationship that began over 4 months ago. He says that he has turned to the internet because he has limited friends and I am not around. He has dangled the 'carrot' of living together as an option to marriage since he has two more years of school and lives over 300 miles away .

I became aware of this relationship after he started talking about his ' e-mail buddy' and started knocking the concept of marriage. He said it was harmless and that she called him for 'counsel.' Then they started talking on the phone. I have known for some time that he was a liar but I thought he would not lie to me. He repeatedly stated that there was nothing going on as they live over 1000 miles away. Several days ago my instinct (which is always right) told me to check his e-mail. They had plans to meet. Also, I found that he was having phone sex with this person and two others. Needless to say he was furious that I invaded his privacy (he gave me the password).

He wants to reconcile and even proposed marriage. I don't think I can trust him. My question is ... Do you think this warrants as cheating?

Signed by:
Do his actions can be called cheating?

My answer:

If you feel cheated upon, then you are being cheated on. Even though he didn't cheat in action, he is making tracks to cheat by making a date to meet with this woman. Plus, he is cheating you out of himself by placing his energy in flirting with and verbally making love to others. Every woman needs to feel that she is her boyfriend's or husband's number one girl. Clearly you aren't feeling this.

What's equally unacceptable is the fact that he lied to you. Let's face facts. If he's so lonely without you, he could get on the horn and talk to you, not some stranger. By making imaginary love with others, he's pushing you away. Yes, he's an intimacy and commitment phobic and a liar.

But enough about him. It's you I'm worried about. You said you knew he lies but never thought he'd lie to you. I'm afraid you've been living in denial here. It feels like some unfinished childhood business is afoot. I get the sense that your unconscious has chosen a man that lies because you are used to being lied to. The unconscious fantasy behind this choice is the wish that this time around you will fix the liar. Isn't this exactly what you said,'I never thought he'd lie to me.' But, he's lying to you about not being involved with someone else. He is planning to meet with his cybersex partner.

At this point, your focus must be on fixing you. If you focus on the question, was he really cheating, you will miss the point entirely. This isn't about him. It's about you and your willingness to talk yourself out of the truth. About your way of pulling the wool over your eyes. About your need to hold on to the fantasy that a liar won't lie to you.

As part of your healing, you will also need to face the fact that you can't fix him. People that lie usually don't want to change their ways. Lying is a pattern that is learned early in life, and it becomes a deep-seated part of that person's personality. It is a coping strategy that is used to avoid pain and escape punishment. And, unless a person experiences great suffering as a result of lying, he or she will rarely give it up. So, you need to assume that he won't stop lying to you. Do not believe words or promises that he will change, unless he makes a behavioral follow-through and gets professional help.

So, focus on understanding what piece of your childhood you are trying to heal. Which parent lied to you? Then, own your fantasy: that you will fix that lying parent and never be lied to again. Next, take a look at reality. Does your partner want to fix himself. Is he making steps to do so? And, if your answer is no, then you will need to face the facts. He will never change and your life will be filled with a series of lies. And, ultimately, you will then need to make a reality-based, not a fantasy-based choice by asking yourself: Do I want to live with someone who will always lie to me? Am I willing to stay with him knowing that he will never change.

The only way you will be able to fully face reality and not live under the fantasy that he will never lie to you is for you to heal your Old Scar from childhood. When that wound is healed, you will no longer wish to fix liars in your adult life. And this man will become a thing of the past!

I hope that my answer clarifies where you are and what you need to do.

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Thursday, November 7, 2013

Girlfriend Cheated on Me with a Lesbian

Today I am going to share with you another letter I received at my Ask Dr Love Advice Column.

Five days ago, my ex broke up with me and confessed to cheating on me with another girl. She thinks she could could be lesbian and wants time alone to figure it out. She said that we might be able to work it out. It was so sudden, it left me in shock and heart broken. Iv always put her first and did my best to make her happy. I love her. She says she still loves me. But i kinda feel like she is playing games, just to keep me there. Honesty I don't what to do or how to feel. Its a conflict inside. Should i wait and hope we can work it out? Or walk away and prevent further heartbreak from her? I love her so much, but I don't want to feel this pain anymore.

Signed by:

emotional damage

Answer:

I’m so sorry to hear what you’re being put through.

I noticed that you didn’t say that you felt her foray into lesbian territory is driven by a genuine need to determine if she’s bi-sexual or not.

On the contrary, you said that you feel like she’s playing games with you. Are you saying that she’s pretending to be gay, just to have the fun of playing the field? Or are you saying that she’s playing games to get you jealous? To build up her ego?

How you feel about her actions is significant. If you feel like you’re being played, you’re being played.

By the way, Freud said that all humans are bi-sexual by nature. This means we can naturally swing either way. Once we form a monogamous relationship, we choose to commit to that person and close the doors to other options. That doesn’t mean that you don’t continue to feel attractions to others, both male and female. You just choose to not act on these attractions so as to not rupture your relationship.

What she’s doing is not considerate of you. She’s gratifying her wishes to screw around. The net effect is a giant screw you.

The bottom line is this: she doesn’t get to play around on you. Since you said you don’t want to feel the pain any more, you’re going to need to step away from her.

You can tell her that she can play around all she wants, but she can’t have you at the same time. When she figures out what she wants, she can contact you. If you’re single, you can see how you feel about giving her another shot. I would be very, very wary of trusting her again.

I’m so sorry that you’ve been hurt like this.

Promise me that you won’t allow her actions to cause you to doubt your manhood.

Research shows that the majority of women who become lesbians do so because of having been sexually molested in the past.

Please keep in touch and let me know how you’re doing.

Related Advice Columns

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Anatomy Of Infidelity: Why People Are Unfaithful & How To Prevent Cheating

In this Ask Dr. Love radio show, Dr. Jamie Turndorf reveals the causes of infidelity and what people can do to avoid becoming a statistic! Ask Dr. Love is a one hour live Internet Radio program. Call in with any of your marriage, relationship, dating, or sex advice questions. AskDrLove.com now offers 1000's of FREE articles on every imaginable relationship issue--or, ask Dr. Love your own question!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ask-dr-love/2013/04/06/the-anatomy-of-infidelity-what-causes-prevents-cheating

Friday, April 5, 2013

The Anatomy Of Infidelity: Why People Are Unfaithful & How To Prevent Cheating

http://www.talkzone.com/episodes/199/DRLOVE040113.html

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Anatomy Of Infidelity: Why People Are Unfaithful & How To Prevent Cheating

http://www.prlog.org/12109985-the-anatomy-of-infidelity-why-people-are-unfaithful-how-to-prevent-cheating.html

The Anatomy Of Infidelity: Why People Are Unfaithful & How To Prevent Cheating

http://www.free-press-release.com/news-the-anatomy-of-infidelity-why-people-are-unfaithful-how-to-prevent-cheating-1364851650.html

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Haven't a Clue

Relationship expert Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love) works with a woman whose boyfriend is inviting her to meet his family over the holidays, but didn’t respond when she told him that she loves him. She wants to know how to bring the subject up without bringing the relationship to its knees. AskDrLove.com is the Web's premier free relationship advice site since 1996. Search thousands of relationship, marriage, dating, and sex advice articles and videos on every imaginable problem, or Ask Dr. Love your own question!I

http://askdrlove.com/content/havent-clue

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Woman Who Wonders if Cybersex is Cheating

Relationship expert Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love) advises a woman who found out that her long distance boyfriend is having Cybersex in her absence. He says that he has few friends where he lives and that if she would just move in with him he wouldn’t need to play around on the Internet. AskDrLove.com is the Web's premier free relationship advice site since 1996. Search thousands of relationship, marriage, dating, and sex advice articles and videos on every imaginable problem, or Ask Dr. Love your own question!

http://askdrlove.com/content/woman-who-wonders-if-cybersex-cheating