Mr. Right Where Are You?

Dear Dr. Love

I just can't find Mr. Right. What can I do. I treat them like gold. I think I have a sticker on my forehead that says 'treat her like garbage, she 'll put up with it' I really want to find Mr. Right. I am sick of dating people to find Mr. Right. Maybe I should just give up and let him find me??

Answer: 

It is painful to keep fishing for Mr. Right and turning up duds. You said, 'I treat men like gold, they treat me like garbage because they know I'll take it.' Before you can turn up a good man, you need to figure out why this pattern is occurring.

After you find out where the pattern originated, next, make a big effort to observe yourself every time you allow someone to walk on you. Don't try to force yourself to stop the pattern, you aren't ready just yet. Simply observe yourself whenever you are being walked on and say to yourself. There I go again. Letting someone dump on me. Then, ask yourself, 'who am I acting like.'

In answer to your question, should you wait and let Mr. Right find you. Waiting will not solve the problem we discussed above. Unless you work out this doormat issue, squashers will always find you.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Sign up for my weekly NEWSLETTER!

Jealous Junky

I have a big problem. I know that my girlfriend isn't cheating on me but I 'm so jealous if she even looks at another guy. Then I start asking her all kinds of questions. I've even started checking up on her and following her. Things have gotten so bad we 're having nightly scream fests over this. Why can't I shake this jealousy?

Answer: 

There are lots of reasons why you might be hanging on to jealousy. To get past this problem you will have to admit to yourself that your jealousy is a smoke screen for fear: What are you afraid of? Getting dumped? Do you find yourself thinking, 'She'll find someone else and leave me?

'If your answer is 'yes' then we need to find out where this fear stems from. Did someone dump you or threaten to dump you when you were a kid? If this is so, it is understandable that you would have the feeling that your girlfriend would want to drop you.

From now on, instead of flying into jealous fits, admit your fear and ask your girlfriend for reassurances that she loves you. This will bring her closer to you. On the contrary, your jealous fits will push her away and make your worst fears come true.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)

Sign up Now>> For Dr Love's Weekly Newsletter!

Don't Take It So Personally! 7 Steps For Eliminating Excessive Personalization

Don't Take It So Personally! 7 Steps For Eliminating Excessive Personalization

Do you often feel like your partner is putting you down or blaming you...even when he/she swears that he isn’t? Are you taking things too personally, and is  this putting a hurt on your relationship?

If you said, “yes,” you may be suffering from what’s called Excessive Personalization.

Excessive Personalization is a cognitive distortion that springs out of the narcissism of childhood in which kids believe the world revolves around them. Many people never outgrow the “baby brain.” This combined with being criticized as a child can result in the tendency to self-blame and to hear criticism from our partners even when criticism isn’t being delivered.

And when you feel criticized and put down, the natural reaction is to become angry. Of course, anger begets an angry response. This leads to a downward spiral of fighting that has divorce (or breakup) written all over it.

There is a way out!

 Discover my 7 steps for eliminating Excessive Personalization. When you discover how to train your brain to level with you, rather than level you, you will be able to substitute Excessive Personalization for the ability to see and hear what your partner is actually saying! When this happens, it’s time to sit back and watch your relationship soar to new levels of happiness and joy.

Sign up to receive Dr Love's Weekly Newsletter!

Woman In Love With A Younger Man

Dr. Jamie Turndorf advises a married 48 year old woman who has fallen for a man 20 years her junior, answering her question as to whether their apparent compatibility will survive given the great age difference. AskDrLove.com is the Web's premier free relationship advice site since 1996. Search thousands of relationship, marriage, dating, and sex advice articles and videos on every imaginable problem, or Ask Dr. Love your own question!

http://askdrlove.com/content/woman-love-younger-man

Not Sure How to Read a Shy Guy

Relationship expert Dr. Jamie Turndorf helps a woman figure out how to decipher the mixed signals that a guy in her poetry class in sending her. AskDrLove.com is the Web's premier free relationship advice site since 1996. Search thousands of relationship, marriage, dating, and sex advice articles and videos on every imaginable problem, or Ask Dr. Love your own question!

http://askdrlove.com/drlove-advice/not-sure-how-read-shy-guy

Top Relationship Expert Reveals Relationship Harmony Secrets

Dr. Jamie Turndorf, the popular relationship expert known by two generations of fans as Dr. Love through her award winning Web site AskDrLove.com, will be presenting "How to Create Relationship Happiness by Putting Yourself in Your Partner’s Emotional Shoes!” on her “Ask Dr Love Radio” show on Tuesday, May 22th, 2012 at 9pm EST. On this week’s show, she’ll be discussing a vital skill that happy couples practice: they put themselves in each other’s emotional shoes. The technical name for this skill is partial identification. While happy couples use this skill to create a strong bond, distressed couples, by contrast, break their bond by ramming thoughts and feelings down each other’s throats! Find out how you can stop your fights dead in their tracks by simply partially identifying with your partner.

http://www.ideamarketers.com/?articleid=3254821

Top Relationship Expert Reveals the Secrets to Relationship Happiness

Renowned relationship expert and author Dr. Jamie Turndorf reveals "How to Create Relationship Happiness by Putting Yourself in Your Partner’s Emotional Shoes!” on her “Ask Dr Love Radio” show on Tuesday, May 22th, 2012 at 9pm EST. On this week’s show, she’ll be discussing a vital skill that happy couples practice: they put themselves in each other’s emotional shoes. The technical name for this skill is partial identification. While happy couples use this skill to create a strong bond, distressed couples, by contrast, break their bond by ramming thoughts and feelings down each other’s throats! Find out how you can stop your fights dead in their tracks by simply partially identifying with your partner

http://www.free-press-release.com/news-top-relationship-expert-reveals-the-secrets-to-relationship-happiness-1337615045.html

I'm Trying To Move ON, But it Hurts --What Now?

Dr. Jamie Tundorf (aka Dr Love) advises a woman who still loves her ex on how she can approach him and let him know that she wants him back. AskDrLove.com is the Web's premier free love advice site since 1996, with thousands of free relationship, dating, and sex advice articles and videos on every imaginable problem.

http://askdrlove.com/drlove-advice/im-trying-move-it-hurts-what-now

Top Relationship Expert Shares Proven Relationship Saving Techniques

On Ask Dr. Love Radio Tuesday May 22nd, renowned relationship expert and author Dr. Jamie Turndorf will be revealing how to strengthen your relationship by putting yourself in your partner’s emotional shoes. “In this show,” Dr. Turndorf says, “I share my proven method for partially identifying with your partner. Instead of hitting each other below the belt, try putting this skill under your belt! When you do, watch your love blossom!”

http://www.prlog.org/11879656-top-relationship-expert-shares-proven-relationship-saving-techniques.html

Will He or Won't He?

Dr. Jamie Turndorf helps a young woman whose boyfriend says he’s only interested in fun. She wonders if it’s possible for such a guy to fall in love. AskDrLove.com is the Web's premier love advice site since 1996 offering thousands of free and easy to search relationship, marriage, dating, and sex advice columns.

http://askdrlove.com/drlove-advice/will-he-wont-he

Top Relationship Expert Reveals How To Stop Fighing Today

Popular author and creator of AskDrLove.com Dr. Jamie Turndorf to outline her simple yet highly effective relationship conflict resolution methods on AskDrLove Radio May 8th. "In this show," Dr. Turndorf says, "I share my top three First Aid Tools to cool down a partner who’s losing it so you can turn your ship around. I also help you to recognize when it’s time to ‘abandon ship’ and abort mission, as well as how to re-approach your issue so that your next discussion will be successful. Join me as we sail into smoother waters on the Love Boat called Relationship SOS."

http://prfocus.com/article/Top_Relationship_Expert_Reveals_How_To_Stop_Fighting_Today_49820.html

Top Relationship Expert Reveals How To Stop Fighting and Start Communicating Now

Dr. Jamie Turndorf, the popular relationship expert known by two generations of fans as Dr. Love through her award winning Web site AskDrLove.com, will be presenting "Relationship SOS: How to Rescue a Discussion That's Sinking" on her "Ask Dr Love Radio" show on Tuesday, May 8th, 2012 at 9pm EST.

http://www.ideamarketers.com/?articleid=3213918

Top Relationship Expert Reveals How To Stop Fighting Now!

Popular relationship expert and author Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love) outlines her simple yet highly effective relationship conflict resolution methods on AskDrLove Radio May 8th. “In this show,” Dr. Turndorf says, “I share my top three First Aid Tools to cool down a partner who’s losing it so you can turn your ship around. I also help you to recognize when it’s time to ‘abandon ship’ and abort mission, as well as how to re-approach your issue so that your next discussion will be successful. Join me as we sail into smoother waters on the Love Boat called Relationship SOS.”

http://www.free-press-release.com/news-top-relationship-expert-reveals-how-to-stop-fighting-now-1336070885.html

Relationship SOS: How to Rescue a Discussion That's Sinking

Popular relationship expert and author Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love) outlines her simple yet highly effective relationship conflict resolution methods on AskDrLove Radio May 8th. “In this show,” Dr. Turndorf says, “I share my top three First Aid Tools to cool down a partner who’s losing it so you can turn your ship around. I also help you to recognize when it’s time to ‘abandon ship’ and abort mission, as well as how to re-approach your issue so that your next discussion will be successful. Join me as we sail into smoother waters on the Love Boat called Relationship SOS.”

http://www.prlog.org/11865953-relationship-sos-how-to-rescue-discussion-thats-sinking.html

Top Relationship Expert Reveal How to Stop Fighting Now

Dr. Jamie Turndorf, the popular relationship expert known by two generations of fans as Dr. Love through her award winning Web site AskDrLove.com, will be presenting "Relationship SOS: How to Rescue a Discussion That's Sinking” on her “Ask Dr Love Radio” show on Tuesday, May 8th, 2012 at 9pm EST. “In this show,” Dr. Turndorf says, “I share my top three First Aid Tools to cool down a partner who’s losing it so you can turn your ship around. I also help you to recognize when it’s time to ‘abandon ship’ and abort mission, as well as how to re-approach your issue so that your next discussion will be successful. Join me as we sail into smoother waters on the Love Boat called Relationship SOS.”

http://www.widepr.com/press_release/39054/top_relationship_expert_reveals_relationship_communication_secrets.html

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

Research shows that one of the most important features of successful relationships is the depth of the friendship. Do you know your partner's inner world? Take this quiz to find out!

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-Well-Do-You-Know-Your-Partner_1